You get more attention when you are naked

We went to the monthly house party last night. There weren’t nearly as many people attending as usual. There was another house party being held not too far away at the same time which drew some away. There weren’t that many people of interest showing up on the RSVP list but we have always had a good time there so we decided to go anyway.

Shortly after we arrived Jo gave me the challenge to talk to and kiss at least two women while there. I have a tendency to be a “wallflower” so it was a bit of a challenge for me. Kissing women I had kissed before didn’t count.

It wasn’t too long before Donna (she was the one who took such an interest in Jo’s long legs last March) approached Jo and insisted she take off the nylons so she could inspect the legs. Things progressed to the point where Barb suggested they just take off all the clothes. So they did and then they went for a little trip through the kitchen out onto the deck. They were quite the hit and collected lots of kisses and pets from both men and women. Donna insisted that I never allow Jo to wear nylons to the party again. She insisted those legs must be accessible.

The clothes went back on and we wandered around some. Some independently and some together. I saw Jackie dancing with the pole and after she made some eye contact that appeared to be inviting I approached and dance with her some. She rubbed her but against me and I pushed and rubbed back and kissed her neck and put my arms around her from behind. After a bit she said she needed to go check on her husband Ben. I already knew Ben was quite interested in Jo and Jo was okay with Ben as well. She said she would come back but didn’t so I wandered off to tell Jo of my moderate accomplishment.

Jo was with sitting on a couch Donna. Donna was trying to arrange a multiple cock sucking situation for herself and Jo. I was invited along with several other guys. We all dropped our pants and Jo and Donna sucked and stroked the various cocks for a while. More people came around to watch but Donna was ready to move on to other things. Explained to me that she does the outrageous flirting thing with a bunch of different people so that she is in control. She can sort of sample all of them and then decide if she wants to get their number and arrange to meet with her and her husband outside the party or maybe continue to play with them at the party. She and I kissed for a while and she asked for our number. She said she liked us and would like to play with us outside the party environment. Her husband was of interest to Jo as well so I gave her my number.

We talked to several other people and keep getting caught up with Donna again and again. I finally asked if she would like to go to the play area with us. She said, “Maybe later.” I’m not sure if that really meant later or it was just a polite way of saying not tonight. In any case Jo and I were getting tired and needed to go home soon.

We debated with ourselves going home or going to the play area by ourselves. We decided to go to the play area by ourselves. As we were about to enter the play area we bumped into Randi. She is one of the administrators of the party and has greeted us at the door when we arrived several times. She asked if we were having a good time and I asked if she was having a good time. She said she couldn’t find anyone to play with. I told her there were lots of guys that would love to play with her. “Who?” she asked. “She can play with us”, Jo whispered in my other ear. I was surprised but I told Randi, “You can play with us if you like.” Randi had expressed an interest in me at our first visit to this house party but Jo wasn’t interested in her husband Ken so I had not encouraged her before. But Ken was nowhere in sight and Randi was actively looking for a playmate.

Randi quickly agreed and asked if she could bring her husband along. Jo’s said she wasn’t that interested so the three of us went into a bedroom together. There was a lot of kissing and touching between everyone and I ultimately I had intercourse with Jo for a while then pulled out, put on a condom and had sex with Randi to completion. We lay in bed for a while talking and cuddling and finally another couple, Carl and May, came in. They seemed interested in joining us. May positioned herself between my feet and lower legs and stroked me some. Jo has no interest in Carl and said she needed to us the bathroom and hurried out. I wasn’t going to stay and play without her but I stayed just long enough to say good-bye to Randi. Carl was starting to get things going with Randi as Jo came back and I rolled out of bed. We said good-bye to some of the people not busy playing and left for home later than normal.

Shortly after getting in the car Jo told me, “You get a lot more attention when you are naked.” I gave her “a look” and smiled.

It was a nice party from my viewpoint. I kissed Donna, had sex with Jo and Randi in a threesome, and did some heavy flirting with Jackie. Jo said she was a little disappointed but had a nice time. There was a lot of work that went into keeping up with the attention from Donna without anything really coming of it. Maybe next time…

We got home very late and didn’t have sex again until this morning.

Meet and greet success

Last night we had planned on going to a house party. We found it on SLS, clicked the link saying we would attend, and thought we were all “good to go”. But after a few days we got a message saying we were out of the age range they were looking for. They were restricting attendance to those between 25 and 45 years of age. We are both at least five years over that. Okay. We were a bit disappointed but understood. We appreciate some of the restriction on other party we go to. Going to a party where everyone is height and weight proportionate (HWP) and people interested in full swap makes for a much better party for us.

We were also a little disappointed because Alfred and Debbie were going to be there. It’s nice to have someone you know when you go someplace new. They had indicated they were looking forward to seeing us again too so we sent them a message telling them we had been uninvited and Debbie sent back a really nice message saying I looked much younger than my real age and that she didn’t have a problem with my age. Since she is 26 years younger than me that was a real boost to my ego.

We decided to go to a meet and greet instead.

It was the same umbrella organization that had the one we didn’t care for a few months ago but this was a 45 minute drive in the opposite direction so we figured the odds were good we would find a completely different set of people.

It turned out well. We talked to several different couples. The two most interesting couples were those that approached us. They were probably the most nice looking of the people we saw there so that was very flattering too. We exchanged contact information with one couple and know how to get in touch with the other couple so maybe something will work out with them in the future.

The only problem is that both couple are a fair distance away from us. One is a 45 minute drive and the other is an hour and 40 minutes away.

We wish we could find some people closer to home. I went through the SLS listings for people close to home and plan to review the most promising ones with Jo to see if we can find friends where we don’t have to invest so much in travel time.

Quote of the week: Alain de Botton

If seeing marriage as the perfect answer to all our hopes for love, sex, and family is naive and misguided, so too is believing that adultery can be an effective antidote to the disappointments of marriage. It is impossible to sleep with someone outside of marriage and not spoil the things we care about inside it. There is no answer to the tensions of marriage.

Alain de Botton
From 12 Rude Revelations About Sex

I’m reminded of proverb, “Those who think it’s impossible shouldn’t interrupt those who are doing it.”

That was rude

I had rather high hopes for last night. As of Wednesday we had two fairly good opportunities. Janice and Nick were attending and Alex and Alice had RSVP’d for the party after Jo told them we would like to meet them there. Then as we were leaving home Sean and Martha RSVP’d.

Hmm… what if two or more couples wanted to play with us? Who and how would we choose?

It turned out that by the time we arrived Alex and Alice had removed their RSVP. Scratch one couple.

Janice and Nick were “obviously a couple” tonight and although we chatted with them we didn’t pursue anything with them.

That left Sean and Martha. Martha was dressed in a black corset, black lace panties, fishnet stockings, and high heels. Jo pronounced her “smoking hot” and wanted to take pictures. We went outside where there was better light and took a bunch of pictures.

That was a good start.

We ate dinner together then when the entertainment started we found a table outside where it was quieter and a little bit cooler. We talked for at least a couple hours. We talked about our crazy ex-spouses quite a bit. Sean and Martha are still working on their divorces and it was interesting hearing about their situations. Sean’s ex has the same personality disorder as my ex. He would tell us some story and Jo or I would almost yell in agreement with it. He would state the conclusion to my stories before I had finished it. We really connected.

It got a little bit strange part when a single guy, R, came outside and sat down with us uninvited. He tried to join in the conversation but we didn’t encourage him very much and he left after 10 minutes or so.

As it got later we started getting a little cold and the mosquitos were biting Jo so we went inside to play in the inflatable bouncy house for a bit. Sean and Martha were going to change their clothes and we expected to meet them there. We bounced for a few minutes and had fun like a couple of kids laughing and jumping up and down.

We then went looking for Sean and Martha and couldn’t find them. We didn’t go into the play area because that would have required two changes of clothes when it was really time for us to just go home. We ended up going home without saying good-bye.

As we left we discussed the evening. We decided the no show on the part of Alex and Alice  was really rude and that we wouldn’t invest any more time in them. Janice and Nick were doing the couple thing and that was understandable since Janice had suggested we play together without consulting Nick.

It was really nice to connect so well with Sean and Martha. We enjoyed it even if we didn’t end up playing together. I think we are getting closer.

We had sex with each other when we got home then again the next morning.

The next morning we sent Sean and Martha an email saying we were sorry to have missed saying good-bye to them but that we enjoyed the conversation and looked forward to seeing them again.

Soul sucking

Last night we went to our usual club. There wasn’t anyone on the RSVP list we were really interested in playing with. We were hoping Sean and Martha might show up but they didn’t. We talked with Janice for quite a while and ended up having dinner with her and Kim.

We discussed the volunteer appreciation party on Friday with Janice. We hadn’t really decided whether to go or not. It would be almost all volunteers we knew and very few, if any, new people there. None of the volunteers are couples that were a good match for us. She said Nick was going to be her date for the party and we should attend because they would be there. We have played with them as a couple before. And she has participated as the extra female in a FMF threesome we had once. So we agreed to attend. Jo had also contacted Alex and Alice and told them we would be at the party and would like to see them again. They RSVP’d almost immediately. So maybe something will work out for us.

From Janice we found out why Ellen wasn’t playing last week. She was having an gynecological exam the next morning. And it was Janice that Nick played with when he left the hot tub. She also said she felt a little “used” by the experience. We didn’t get details on that and don’t really know what the issue was. We suspect it was because he spent so much time with us then just wanted to play with her without the social aspect he shared with us.

And we found out from Kim why we hadn’t seen Brenda for several weeks. She is having back problems and is scheduled for surgery soon.

After diner we sat in the hot tub with Gretchen and Steve and talked for a while. They had to work (massage) and even if they were interested in playing with us it would be very late before they would be available. I didn’t even ask. I have told her many times to let me know when they want to play with us. She gave me a kiss as they got up to go to work.

A young couple joined us and we talked with them for a while. They are much too young for a good match but we talked to them for a bit. Just general chit-chat.

We decided to play with each other and went to the showers to wash off the hot tub chemicals. We saw a woman kissing Gretchen in the dressing room and by the time we had prepared for going to the play area they were gone. We found them in the play area with the woman between Gretchen’s legs and Steve kissing Gretchen’s breasts. We watched for a few seconds then went on to find a place for ourselves to play. We ended up in the mirror room by ourselves. Another couple came in and lay on one of the adjoining beds. The woman asked if she could touch Jo and kissed her breasts for a while as I would performing oral and manual sex on Jo. She used her fingers on Jo for a while too and I moved out of the way to give her access. That was going okay until she kissed Jo on the mouth. Apparently her kisses involve a lot of tongue on the face and Jo motioned for me and the other woman moved away to join her male companion.

We had seen and talked to the other couple many times but physically they just weren’t a good match for us. He is too short and they are both overweight. Some brief play with the female would probably have been okay if it hadn’t been for the sloppy kissing.

We had sex with each other then left.

As we drove home Jo said it was a soul sucking experience. We spent over an hour driving and more hours at the club to do something we could have done at home. We decided to stop attending Wednesday events at that club at least until after Jo’s daughter goes to college this fall. We can stay home and visit with the kids and do other stuff around the house and have a much more rewarding experience without investing so many hours in pursuit of something that just isn’t happening for us at Wednesday parties.

Quote of the week: Woman at a swingers club

Saturday is my 51st birthday.  I’m going to the club and going to have sex with 25 guys, twice, then have sex with my husband for number 51.

Woman at a swingers club
September, 1997

I didn’t go to the Saturday party and I don’t think I ever saw her again. But I expect she did do as she said she was going to do. She seemed very enthusiastic about it and her husband indicated he was fine with it too.

So true

Via a tweet from NHASC we have this list of 100 Ways You Know You’re a Swinger. I could relate to all but one or two but the following really struck home:

3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.

5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.

20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.

34. You’ve invited friends over and made porn.

42. You take photos of yourself with your head out of the frames, on purpose.

46. You frequently use the term “Friends of friends” when explaining how you know certain people.

60. On Christmas, there are certain presents that can’t be opened in front of your family.

81. Your sexual fantasies never last very long… Because they keep coming true!

89. After 25 years, people still ask if you’re newlyweds.

Best night at the club in months

Last night Jo and I had the best night at our usual club in months. And the strange part is that we didn’t has sex with anyone there. Not even with each other.

Before going to the club we met a couple for drinks who had written to us via SLS. It was nice conversation. From the pictures and their profile it was sort of ho-hum, but the conversation was very good. It was a nice start to the evening.

We arrived at the club a little bit late but put our stuff in a locker and went out in search of ‘prey’ before filling our plates at the buffet table. We didn’t see anyone of particular interest.

The RSVP list had indicated a couple who are both tall and very attractive would be attending but we didn’t have much in the way of expectations for connecting with them. We’ve attempted to get things started with them on a couple occasions without success so we figured it is really “their move” if they decide they are interested in us. We saw the female half of the couple at a table which was completely full so that wasn’t a real option even if we had decided to make ourselves more available.

Sean and Martha were there but again were at a full table. Jo hasn’t been too keen on pursuing them because they have been saying they are moving slow and “exploring”. But I had been thinking they have been warming up to the idea of playing with us. I told her that I might tell them we were interested and let them take it from there.

We sat down with two couples that were familiar faces and almost friends but not potential playmates. One is very short and the other is very young and on the short side as well. We had a nice conversation with them but everyone knew it wasn’t going lead into the play area.

I went back to the buffet line to get some dessert and I could barely believe my eyes. There, going through the buffet line, was Nick and Ellen! Jo has played with him a couple times and I played with her once. But more importantly we have always extremely enjoyed the conversations we have had with them. They are the other couple we know with blogs about being in the lifestyle. They had left the area in April expecting they would not be back for at least a year. And we thought there was a real chance we would never see them again.

I had a warm greeting with them and hurried back to Jo and told her she would not believe who I just saw. I didn’t even try to make her guess like I usually do in such circumstances when she casually told me she didn’t know who that would be. When I told her she jumped up and quickly walked back to the buffet to see them. This greeting was just as warm and we found an empty table away everyone else to talk. We talked and talked about their adventures, our dissatisfaction with the club, and our experiences at other places, our kids, and totally ignored everything going on at the club. They were back just for a couple weeks and would again be gone, probably for months again.

Nick was sitting next to Jo and he had his hand between her legs a lot and she had her hand on his leg as well. As the music from the dance floor became increasingly difficult to talk over Nick suggested we sit in a hot tub for a while. As we were getting up from the table we overheard Nick say something to Ellen. I forget what the exact words were but we got the gist of the idea that Ellen wouldn’t be playing tonight.

After we undressed and were headed to the hot tubs Ellen quietly told Jo and I, “Just to manage expectations, I’m not playing with anyone tonight.” We told her we had already picked up on that and we appreciated her telling us but that was okay.

We sat in, and partially out of, the hot tub and talked for nearly another hour. At first Nick and Jo started getting pretty “frisky”. There was some heavy kissing and petting but when Nick asked if she wanted to have sex there on the edge of the tub she told him that she wasn’t going to have sex unless I was going have sex with someone else as well. Their activity became much more subdued then. We still had a great conversation.

Nick eventually left to search for another playmate. We suspect he probably connected with Janice who was there as well and she and Nick have a lot of “history”. Ellen, Jo, and I had a great conversation but it was getting very late. We sort of tried to make something work out in the next few days to met up with them but our schedules just weren’t going to let it happen. Jo and I finally left without even having sex with each other.

As we were leaving we saw Sean and Martha near the eating area and dance floor. Sean was sitting on a  chair with only a few clothes on and Martha was completely nude sitting astraddle of Sean. There was no sex going on. They were just talking. Martha didn’t see us until I gently stroked her shoulder as we walked by. She looked up and then jumped up to say hi. She told us she didn’t even know we were there. We told them we had been absorbed with some other friends and ignored almost everyone else. She gave us both hugs and kisses.

I told them that if they were interested or ever got to the place where they were interested in playing with us to let us know. They both lit up. Martha said, “Yes, I think that might happen! We feel so comfortable around you guys.” And Sean said, “Thanks for letting us know.” Even though they are frequently at the club I think they are still shy about taking any initiative in getting from “point A to point B”. I wanted to make that easier for them. And I think it might have worked. Jo told me, “Good job with Sean and Martha” after we were in the car.

We drove home happy. It was one of the most enjoyable evenings we have had at that club in months. And it was all without sexual intercourse. We did have sex when we got home though. And again this morning. That part is consistent.

I feel like a leper

Last night we went to our usual club. From the RSVP list there didn’t look to be anyone we were going to be playing with but we decided to go anyway. Tom and Mary were there and we figured we might talk to them but probably not much of interest would happen.

We put our stuff in a locker and looked around. The were quite a few new people but no one interesting. We finally settled in the lounge area next to the appetizers. There were some people talking but all the seats near them were taken so we arranged a couple comfortable chairs on the periphery and sort of listened in and chatted between just ourselves. We observed the new couples going through the first part of the orientation but didn’t see anyone of particular interest. There were quite a few of them but none of the men were tall enough to be interesting to Jo or they weren’t in our age bracket.

After a while Uriah showed up, gave us both hugs and sat down beside us.  We chatted about her boyfriend who still  who hasn’t said he loves her. We talked about marriage some. She doesn’t envision ever getting married again but could see him being a lifelong companion. She asked if we planned to get married. We said we hadn’t really talked about it much. Certainly not in the next few years because getting financial aid for Jo’s college age children is easier as a single mother. Jo left as Uriah and I were talking about something of little interest to her. I was a bit concerned because has had a bit of a cough I was wondering if she was feeling so ill that maybe we should go home. So I went looking for her.

Jo was fine, she just went to check her phone for messages from the kids and go to the bathroom. We scouted for other couples in the lobby and saw a particularly attractive woman and a good looking guy come through. Okay. There’s our “prey”. We need to sit at their table for dinner we decided. I put our names on the little cards used to reserve seats at the tables and waited for them to select their chairs. Jo predicted that we would have to move fast because others are probably going to have the same idea as we did. I’m not certain that is what happened but there was another couple that selected the same table as Louis and Roberta and we hurried to place our cards in the two remaining positions at that table.

We struck up a conversation with them and it went well. We talked about kids, where we lived, travel time to the club, and about the personal dynamics of this club with all its floor space compared to house parties. Dinner was served and we went through the buffet and came back to the table. The third couple was there and almost immediately the conversation between Jo, I, and this third couple dominated. Louis and Roberta were kind of left out. We didn’t mean for that to happen but the other woman in particular is one of those “life of the party” types. We talked about the TV series Fire Fly and how it could be used to find out if another couple was compatible or not. If someone didn’t like Fire Fly  then you could scratch them off of your list. Jo and I really liked Fire Fly  but I’m not certain that would be compelling evidence to have nothing to do with potential playmates.

She told us about being polyamorous and with her current partner, there at the table with us, initially just started out as a sexual relationship. And after she discovered she was in love with him she waited four months to tell him because it wasn’t how the relationship had started and what they said they wanted. It turned out he felt the same way about her and it was all good. Jo chipped in that she understood the concept of polyamory and it made a certain amount of sense but it just wouldn’t work for her in practice. She just wouldn’t be able to handle it. I probably could handle it a little better than Jo but still I much prefer the swinging lifestyle to the polyamorous unless maybe we all lived in the same home. I could see that having the potential to work out. Perhaps something like the Line Marriage described in Robert Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress as being one of the more functional structures (see also Influence of the Science Fiction Writings of Robert A. Heinlein on Polyamory).

We didn’t get the names of the third couple and weren’t really interested in them as playmates. They were much younger than us and with all of her piercings, the red and black hair, and the bright red lipstick I just didn’t find her of sexual interest.

Louis and Roberta left the table when the entertainment started so they could get a better view. It was a demonstration of fire play. There was a man and a woman on the dance floor with a portable massage table. The woman was nude and the man used isopropyl alcohol to briefly set fire to parts of her body or used a burning glove to stroke her. It sort of bothered Jo and me and we didn’t watch much of it. We did wander off to find Tom and Mary and talk to them some.  They had eaten dinner with Sean and Martha and the two couple seemed to be connecting well. We wondered how that would work out. Maybe they would be interested in a doing a soft swap or something. Martha gave me a hug when we arrived and the others were friendly as well. We watched the fire play some but mostly talked.

Tom and Mary told us how, “It always ends this way…” They have had several different girl friends over the years. They play with another woman as a couple for quite some time then she will find some guy that she really likes and wants to bring him into the relationship with Tom and Mary. That just doesn’t work for Tom and apparently not all that well for Mary. Tom explained it as follows, “So I have my wife and our girlfriend and everything is going well and this guy wants to join us. So he gets the whole prize of two different women and what is it I get out of this?”

Jo and I wandered off when the fire play demonstration was over and looked around to see what else was available. We saw Robert and Lindsey talking to another couple and they appeared to be quite “tight” but not really anything else of interest. Another couple that we had played with a couple times, Mark and Wendy, had eaten dinner at a table some distance from us. Wendy had always shown a lot of interest in me and I liked being with her but the chemistry between Mark and Jo wasn’t all the hot and Jo wasn’t interested in pursing that possibility. Wendy did approach me and said she hadn’t gotten her hug from me yet and I gave her a big hug and kiss. We chatted for just a few seconds before she moved on to the bar area.

Jo and I decided to just go into the play area by ourselves. Because it was pretty early there were hardly any other people around. We went to the mirror room and laid down and talked about the dynamics of the club. After 10 or 15 minutes we started getting sexually aroused. Another couple came into the room and laid on an isolated bed fairly close to us. We probably would have been interested in them even if they had shown an interest in us. We all end up having sex at essentially the same time. It was nice to hear the sounds and see another couple having sex close to us even if we didn’t directly participate with them.

The other couple left before we did and we were alone in the room for a while longer and I nearly fell asleep. Jo asked if I was ready to leave and I agreed. There just wasn’t much going on for us. This was pretty much as expected.

We made our little survey of the play area before leaving. We found Louis and Roberta together in a small bed isolated from others. Apparently they weren’t interested in us or they could have joined us in the mirror room.

As we were leaving Wendy again approached and expressed some disappointment we were leaving they were staying the night. And then Uriah also came up to me and seemed to be expressing disappointment we were leaving.

We left and as we drove home we talked about the evening. “I feel like a leper” she said. At the house party we go to she gets lots and lots of attention from attractive men and we have had 75% success in finding playmates when we have attended. At this club there isn’t that many guys she is interested in and many of those that are interesting aren’t into full swap. There were women, this time, that were interested in me but Jo just wasn’t “feeling the love” and that just isn’t going to work for us.

Jo did sort of a mock survey of herself:

  • Q: Did you find others of similar interests?
    A: No.

  • Q: Did you have a good time?
    A: Yes. But only with my partner. I could have done that at home.

  • Q: Will you attend again?
    A: Probably. But I’m not sure why.

We just aren’t seeing the benefit of attending here. The house parties (see also here, here, and here) we have been going to have worked well for us. But they are only once a month and it is a fairly long drive for us. We had a good time at the hotel party. And people that put on the hotel parties are going to have their own facility next month, closer than even our usual party house, with several parties a month. We decided that place our hopes on the new party house. We’ll keep going to our usual club for a while but things really need to turn around to keep that up much longer.

When we got home Jo had to help her son with something for 15 or 20 minutes and I was nearly asleep when she got into bed. She cuddled up and we went contentedly to sleep. Then this morning we “slept in” and had sex three times before getting up at almost noon.

Quote of the day: Kim

You look so conservative without any clothes on and so wild with them.   

At a swingers club
December 3, 1997

She was referring to me. I suppose there is a certain amount of truth in that. But more interestingly is that it often difficult to recognize someone when you see them with their clothes on at the mall or a restaurant. Yet you might know them quite intimately from sex parties with their clothes off