Is that weird?

Jo and I went to our usual club last night. It had been a long time due to various life events that got in the way of our recreational activities as well as checking out the other club.

We chatted with Tim for while at the snack table. We are very unlikely to play with him and his wife Candy because some of his sexual preferences are outside of our comfort zone. He is usually very interesting to talk to but this time he appeared to be stoned or something.

We then hung out at the bar with Sean for a while before dinner. We have had a moderate interest in him and his wife Martha for quite some time but never have been able to follow up on it. Martha was late getting there and he was still waiting for her to arrive when we went to the buffet table for dinner. So we ended up looking for someone else interesting to sit with. There wasn’t much of real interest but we finally selected a table with a couple and a single woman. We didn’t recognize any of them and thought maybe they were brand new.

It turns out it was the very first time for the woman, Cynthia,  who was part of the couple. Her male friend, Aaron, had been a member for several years but did a lot of travel, world-wide, and sometimes doesn’t attend for months at a time. The single woman,  Uriah, usually attends with her boyfriend but he had been encouraging her to come without him and this was her first time doing so.

The three of them were happily involved in conversation when we arrived but they quickly included us. They wanted to know if Uriah’s boyfriend should have told her “I love you” after four years together. She wasn’t sure if it was a reasonable expectation. They knew they would never get married and they weren’t living together. But the consensus was that he “needed to be talked to.” Jo volunteered. I think she would do it too. He better watch out the next time he shows up when we are around.

Uriah told us that she comes to the club to make her boyfriend happy. She enjoys herself, but it is mostly because her boyfriend likes to see her be with someone else. He doesn’t have an interest in other women, just watching her with other men, “Is that weird?”, she asked.

I told her there were evolutionary reasons for him to enjoy that. I enjoyed it too. And that I didn’t think it was all that weird once you understood. She didn’t understand and wanted me to explain.

I told her about something I had read about there being multiple solution to evolutionary problems. There is a “problem” when the spouse of a male has sex with someone other than that male because they are at risk of providing support for someone that does not pass on their genes. Hence anger, driving off the other male, and punishing the female reduce this risk and are a solution to this problem. But there is a another solution that also works. And that is for the male to displace the semen of the other male with that of his own. There is physiological evidence of this solution in the shape of the male penis. It is scoop like and when moved back and forth in the vagina moves material from the inside to the outside of the vagina. There is further evidence of this solution being used in that men who suspect his female partner has been having sex with someone else has greater ejaculate volume than a man that does not suspect that. And greater still if he has seen her with another man.

She protested, “But neither of us want to have any more children. So how can that be what he is thinking?” “It’s not a rational thought process”, I countered.

It is something very deep down in the brain that is beyond anything you are consciously aware of. It’s what the man feels. He feels excited and wants to have sex with the woman he has seen have sex with another male. He then ejaculates more and perhaps gets more pleasure from the experience. He doesn’t know why he feels that way but it happens. It has been solving an evolutionary problem since perhaps before our ancestors were sentient.

Aaron chipped in telling Cynthia, “I would love to see you have sex with another man!”

What I would like to know is if all men have both “solutions” built in and can “turn on and off” which one solution is implemented in a given situation. Or do they have just one solution? Can someone who explodes in a jealous rage when their spouse has sex with another be “reprogramed” to take advantage of that for the mutual pleasure of everyone involved?

It was Trivia night at the club and Aaron and Cynthia left to go to the play area soon after the Trivia answer sheets were handed out. Uriah, Jo, and I played and our team tied for second place. Uriah and I continued talking through the trivia game and it was pretty obvious she was interested in me. But without someone for Jo I didn’t encourage it much. When the trivia game was over Jo and I got up and Uriah did as well saying something like, “Well, at least I came by myself, talked with people and had dinner.” I interpreted this as her wanting to know if we, or I, were going to invite her to the play area. I told her that I enjoyed talking to her and hoped to see her there again sometime.

Jo and I went off to the play area together. We saw Aaron and Cynthia having sex together and a few others. But we just played with each other and then went home somewhat early.