Pandemic playtime

Jo and I have been very cautious since the start of the pandemic. N95 masks when we go to the store. Maintaining  6+ feet of distance from others. Packages and other things which come into the house are wiped down with sanitizing wipes or sprayed with isopropyl alcohol.

We did and do miss the playtime with other couples. And although we have been invited to a few house parties since last March we declined them all. Those parties were pretty carefully planned for safety such as self-isolated for 10 days to two weeks before the party or getting tested a couple days prior to the party. But still, with a dozen couples and may of the people, including us, flying to the party it seemed risky. Did we really trust all of these people that well? And what about the risk of the airport and plane?

Looking at the risk versus reward we decided we weren’t going to take the risk. If one or both of us got sick and were dying you’d be calling yourself incredibly stupid.

That said, we did get together with one couple twice and different couple once. In both instances both couples self-isolated for a full two weeks. It turned out well for us. Everyone was safe and we got some much welcomed pandemic playtime.

The Sunday School teacher and the new bed

Until the COVID-19 shutdown Jo and I had been pretty active in the lifestyle. It was mostly house parties and dates with other couples at their house or ours. However, we did attend one hotel take-over and had a great time.

While at the hotel take-over we met a great couple that were really clicked with. One of the more interesting things about them is that they remained virgins until they got married (about 20 years ago). They were very heavily involved with their church including being Sunday School teachers. About three or four years ago they decided to live out some of their fantasies and gradually got into the lifestyle. They are loving it and couldn’t imagine going back to a monogamous relationship. And also of note is that they don’t see any problems with their lifestyle conflicting with their religion.

They live over a hundred miles away so we haven’t gotten to see them since then as often as we would like. They came to our house once and we went to their house once.

The visit to their house was one of my most memorable lifestyle experiences ever. They were in the process of moving into a new house and were going to rent out their old house as a Airbnb or some such thing. So, they were buying new furniture for the new house. The evening we came to visit their king sized mattress for the master bedroom was still in the downstairs living room. It was too heavy for them to move up the stairs and they asked me to help. Of course I did.

After dinner Jo and the husband retired to one of their children’s bedroom. The wife and I retired to their new king-sized bed. After doing the usual stuff one does with a playmate in at a playdate in their bed we talked for a long time. Among the other things we talked about she commented about how remarkable, yet normal, it was to have initiated their new bed with someone other than her husband.

I am honored to have shared that experience with her.

The way it should be all the time

Last night we visited Calvin & Jerri. We picked up a large pizza on the way to their house. They supplied a salad, vegetables, and something to drink. We sat on the couch together, ate our food, and watched a football game as we cuddled with someone else’s spouse. At half-time we put away the food and cleaned up. After the game was over we went into the bedroom and had sex with them. When we got home we had sex with each other.

It was all just so… comfortable. No stress about making a nice dinner and entertaining to make an impression. There was no tension between them. No tension between us. No tension about the possibility of being left out. No tension about being stuck with someone you really didn’t want to be with. No tension about “Are they just stringing us along as a backup plan if they can’t find someone else?” No tension about is someone going to try and have sex without a condom. No tension about someone doing something that their partner didn’t want to do.

We’ve known them for nearly four years. It makes a difference.

It was just really, really nice. As we drove away we talked about it. “That’s the way it should be all the time”, we concluded.


Jo and I have a busy life. Work, kids, hobbies, vanilla friends, vanilla vacations, and finally the lifestyle. When we make plans to meet with another couple (or occasionally a single woman) we consider it a rare treat. It’s very disappointing when someone has to cancel at the last minute but we have done it when one of us became sick, or a family emergency happened. Fine, we get that. What goes beyond disappointment into irritation is when people just “go dark”.

Twice in the past week we had people agree to meet and as the final plans were being agreed upon (location with a new couple and time with a single woman) they just stopped answering messages. How can they think this is appropriate behavior?

We cannot accept this as appropriate. We write them off as flakes.

That was refreshing

Recently Jo and I have been consistently disappointed when we went to club parties and most meet and greets. The people didn’t match our physical criteria and weren’t a good the personality/social-economic match for us either.

But about a month ago we met a couple at a meet and greet which lives about a mile from us, both are tall and in good shape, and it seemed to be a good match. We exchanged contact information and with the expectation they would get in touch with us for a “vanilla” party at their home the following day with some of their family and friends. That didn’t happen and we gave them a pass on it. It was a little early in the relationship to know if we could be trusted to keep our hands off of people and not bring up lifestyle things in front of people they didn’t want knowing.

But nothing further came from them and so we reached out to them last week to see if they would like to have dinner with us at a local restaurant. They agreed and we had dinner with them last night. It went really well. We talked and talked about a number of things both about the lifestyle and non-lifestyle. We got along great and they invited us to another vanilla event at their home and verified we are all going to the same exclusive sex club party a couple weeks from now.

I’m really looking forward to it.

It’s about the people

Jo was seriously considering giving up on meeting people via We have had a long string of disappoints topped off with one couple that became “the head of the rude list” and other couple that made the “head of the weird list”.

After seeing their “hot date” notice on SLS on Wednesday morning Jo sent them a message. They responded positively, there were a couple more message via SLS, then a couple more via normal email before exchanging cell phone numbers.

They were coming in from out of town for a few days for a local, non-lifestyle, event and were interested in meeting us to see if there was a connection.

Last night, we exchanged a few text message to arrange a meet at a local restaurant for dinner. They arrived on time, we ate dinner together, had a great time talking over dinner, and they followed us home for some play time.

It all went well. They were very pleasant in all respects and they invited us to visit them in their town sometime.

SLS can work out. It’s the people, not the venue.