All women lie

I found this fascinating:

I then asked, “How many of you would like to date a nice, sweet, kind man?” Hands started going up. I then said, “Let me put it another way. How many would like to date an arrogant, flashy guy?” The hands went down. In fact, not a single woman raised her hand. I pointed this out stating, “Not one of you raised your hand and that’s why you lie.”  I then said, “But here’s the problem. You don’t even know you’re lying.” Researchers have found discrepancies in what a woman says she wants in a dating partner and the man she actually picks to date.

For example, researchers at Rice University wanted to know if a man flaunting a flashy red Porsche would get more dates than a man in a more economical car like the Honda Civic. They conducted a study asking a woman to pick whom she would most likely go out on a date with, the Porsche guy or the Civic guy. The researchers found that most women picked the Porsche guy. But there is a catch. A woman was most likely to select the Porsche guy for a date, but the Civic guy was more desirable to marry.

We probably have evidence of this in other areas as well. Kind, gentle, stable, “good provider” type men have difficulty attracting women. Many women find them boring. When I started dating again after breaking up with my wife one of the things I put in my online profile was that many people consider me the most interesting person they know and that life is never boring with me. This was despite being able to claim all the “strong, dependable, kind, good provider” type of qualities desired in a life partner.

I didn’t go looking for comparable data for men but I’ll bet there is a similar pattern there as well. Men are attracted to “flashy women”. A woman who flirts with them gets immediate attention even though she is probably flirting with other men as well. We see this at the sex parties we go to. The women dress very provocatively and flirt with a variety of men. This appears to be a very successful strategy at the parties. They are looking for playmates, not life partners, and this dress and behavior increases their selection pool.

This bit of insight is something I probably should put to use when we go to sex parties. I’m an introvert and shy. I should compensate in some fashion to attract women. Women certainly do it. I need to figure out how do dress and act such that I increase my selection pool as well.

This seems so silly to me

Hologram porn:

Why watch porn when you can experience it?

Lay back and relax. Look around the room and watch as your partners disrobe, revealing smoldering hot bodies. No pressure, just let them do all the work as you experience your first three-way. No need to be nervous, these women will ease you in and show you how it’s done. The blonde one, Anna, whispers naughty things in your right ear, while Sara, the brunette, looks up at you with her big blue eyes asking if you like what’s she’s doing. Some men might even think of this as a dream come true, and unless you turn a little too far in your chair, it feels surprisingly real.

Why watch porn when you can be a part of the real thing? Go to a sex club and experience the actual thing.

Hall pass for Bob

Jo was out of town the last few nights and about 4:30 AM yesterday morning sent me a text message:

I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday, but I feel fine with you having a hall pass tonight.

Maybe it is different being out of town?

I replied a few minutes later:

Being home or away is much different for some reason. I  didn’t get into bed until midnight. Very lonely without you here. Then woke  up a few minutes ago.

Thank you for the hall pass. I won’t make any commitment until 8:30 or later. You can change your mind at any time. Even if I actually go.

She replied:

That’s sort of what I do when you’re gone. Being the one who is away, for some reason I feel better about you having a hall pass than not having one. Weird.

That night, 7:58 PM:

Are you really okay with a hall pass tonight? It’s okay to change your mind.

At 8:02 she replied:

Yes! Fine with a hall pass. Have fun.

8:15 PM I replied:

Do you want updates as the evening progresses? Or silence?

8:18 from Jo:

Just end results when you get home is fine, and any interesting gossip of course!

I arrived Club Topaz about 9:00 PM. There weren’t a lot of people there (later I asked one of the owners and they said 36). I found a locker for my stuff, took a shower, and changed my clothes. I made a quick tour of the play areas. They were completely empty.

I grabbed a snack and walked to one end of the room where I had a good view of everyone. There were a couple of groups and some scattered people. I knew a couple of the owners and saw a few faces I recognized but no one I had played with before and very few single women. I was slowly eating my snack and one of the women from a group at a table near the opposite side of the room walked to me and asked, “Isn’t your wife really tall?” “Yes”, I replied. Rachael introduced herself and said she thought she recognized me.

She and her husband Don do volunteer work for the club, see us there frequently, then saw us at the last party at Club Diamond, but never got around to talking to us. She wanted to say hi and talk with us. She asked about Jo and I told her she was out of town and I had a hall pass tonight.

As we talked we saw a short, sort of chubby, guy with a Mohawk haircut go into the play area with a beautiful woman. Rachael commented on it, “I don’t know how he does it. He always get to play with the pretty ones.” I expressed my surprise too. I had seen him many times too.

She commented that in one of our pictures on a Lifestyle web site Don noticed a empty gun magazine pouch on my belt. He is a firearms instructor for a police agency and it sort of jumped out at him. I told her I do a lot of shooting and used to be a, non-professional, instructor myself. She wanted to introduce me to her husband and so we walked over to the table with some other people including the owners I recognized. I was introduced and we Don and I immediately started talking about gun and shooting.

Rachael quickly tuned out and was talking to a woman from another couple at the table. They were talking about the first few times they had played together and how much they enjoyed their time together. I disengaged from the gun talk and told Rachael I was sorry to have gotten distracted by the gun stuff. “This is a sex club. We should be talking about sex here”, I told her. I contributed some to the talk about the club, what happened to Club Pyrite, and asked her about their lifestyle experiences.

They had been in the lifestyle for about ten years but had just played with other people in their neighborhood. There had been a group of a half dozen couples or so and everything had been great for several years. Then there was a bunch of drama and everyone except them got divorced. They then decided to go to house parties and clubs to meet people. They had been doing this for several months now and it was working out well for them.

I told her about Jo and my experience some. I told her of our experiences at other clubs and they dynamics of house parties versus the different clubs.

We probably talked for 20 or 30 minutes and noticed that nearly everyone else in the social area except for our table was gone. She commented something about everyone must be having a good time and so I put my hand on her leg and asked if she would like to go play with me.  She said, “Yes, but I need to see what Don wants to do.” I told her I had to get something out of my locker anyway and would be right back. I went to my locker and retrieved my condoms and when I stood up she was right behind me. She asked, “Is it okay to go someplace where he isn’t?” I wasn’t quite sure who he was but I said we could go anywhere she wanted. It turned out he was some guy that was sort of lurking around watching people in the play areas. We found an empty play area where we could be alone and she quickly go into things. I don’t believe I have ever been with a woman who “got started” so quickly before. I was a little taken aback but had a very nice time with her.

After we were done and chatted for while we dressed and went back into the social area. Don was busy making out with the woman from the other couple. Rachael and I sat at the original table and chatted with the owners and the husband of the other couple. Eventually Rachael and the husband wandered off to have a more private conversation and I talked with the people at the table. The conversation drifted to spankings, handcuffs, and cages. That’s not my scene at all and it was going to spoil what had been a very pleasant evening for me. I said goodbye to the people at the table, found Rachael and said thank you for the nice evening and left to go home.

In the car I sent another text message to Jo and gave her Rachael and Don’s Facebook name:

Just leaving. I had a good time with Rachael .

10 minutes later:

She’s attractive! Glad you had a good time.

I went home and went to bed alone. I would have rather Jo had been home and I had spent the evening with her but being able to socialize and play with someone else was a nice distraction from being alone.

Hall passes for Jo

I was out of town this weekend so Jo decided to visit Club Topaz Friday and Saturday nights by herself. She sent me several text messages asking if it was really okay with me. I reassured her and although she had some apprehension once she reached the lobby went in.

I expected her to play with the owner, Charley. They have done a lot of kissing over the last few months and he always makes a big deal over her and tells her they, “Need to do more sometime.” His wife, Dania, hasn’t shown much interest in me so we haven’t pursued it and I figured this would be their chance. Unfortunately he wasn’t there either night.

On Friday there was a guy who was quite smitten by her, Karl. They danced and kissed some. He had a big erection while on the dance floor and told her a bunch of things that turned her off. A real smooth talker:

  • Claimed to be a liberal talk show host
  • I would be delighted if you’d have diet Coke with me
  • Maybe we could go change and go on a tour of the playrooms
  • She looked like two famous hot actresses

Maybe there weren’t any lies but the constant flattery causes one to doubt his sincerity.

Saturday night she again asked if it was okay with me if she went to the club. I told her the usual, “Yes. Just report back to me.”

We were texted about other stuff just before she left home and I asked her, “Any interesting prospects for tonight?” She reported back that Mick and Michelle had RSVP’d. They always have a very strong interest in Jo and Jo always has a good time with them so I expect that would be her playmates for the evening. I indicated I expected she would have a good time with them and she said, “I hope they show up!”

She then, again, asked, “You’re okay with me going?” I was a tiny bit annoyed by being asked the same question so many times and told her:


How many times do I have to tell you? How many times do you need to play by yourself without adverse consequences?


I love you and know you love me. I know you will still want to be with me the next night.

Just don’t hide anything, tell me the truth, and everything will fine on my end.

The text conversation continued:

Jo: Am I hiding something? I sort of needed reassurance that it’s okay.

Bob: Nope. I don’t think so. You would know better than me. Smile Does it bother you that I’m okay with this? You have my reassurance.

Jo: No! It’s AMAZING that you’re ok with this. I feel bad that I can’t do the same…yet.

Bob: Don’t feel bad. I would like for you to be okay with it. But I know it is a bit step that you aren’t really ready for. And I know you had a bad first experience when you tried. Just know I’m extremely pleased to have you share this part of my life with so much enthusiasm. Xoxoxo

Jo: Xoxoxo

When she got to the club she sat in the car for a bit and texted me again. She said she was leaving her phone in the car and texted me a picture of herself:


I texted back, “You were giving me an erection just being there. Now this!”

There was no answer for two hours and twenty minutes. I figured she was having a good time and it was difficult for me to go to sleep wondering what she was doing.

She finally texted back:

Jo: Sigh. Wish I could put that erection to good use. Nothing there. No Mick and Michelle. Ferrari man was there. Talked to him a long time. I have his card. I wasn’t feeling playtime. Conversation with Andy and Ronda and Swedish couple. I had my hands on the butts of both guys for a while.

Bob: Thanks for the update.

Jo: Andy and Ronda have never played with anyone.

Bob: Interesting! Do they want to?

Jo: He does. I think he said we had a chance. Wondering if I should go back in and lure them.

Bob: Smile I’m definitely interested in her.

Jo: I went back in to propose the idea of me being a bonus person, soft only, but they were back already.

Bob: Maybe we should try to have drinks or dinner with them sometime.

Jo: Maybe. Rick gave me their super snazzy card.

Bob: Smile

Anyway, while she didn’t get to play with anyone she had a nice time and knows more about Andy and Ronda (we knew some of this from before but expected by now they had gotten beyond it) who we have both had a long time interest in.

Benefits of sex

The many joyous health benefits of having more sex:

According to research in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, orgasms half the body’s sensitivity to pain, due to the flow of endorphins (read: natural painkillers) they create. What’s more, those endorphins take effect in a matter of minutes – which is far quicker than most over-the-counter drugs available on the high street.

According to a study carried out in Pennsylvania and published in Psychology Report, people who have sex once or twice a week have, on average, 30pc more Immunoglobulin A (IgA), which is used to fight illness, than those who are not sexually active.

According to a study that was published in Biological Psychology, men who have recently had sex respond better to stressful situations.

Men who have sex at least twice a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, according to research published in 2010 by scientists at the New England Research Institute in Massachusetts.

The study, of over 1,000 men, showed that sex has such a protective effect on the male that its authors went as far as calling for doctors to screen men for sexual activity when assessing their risk of heart disease.

In 2010, research published in the journal PLoS ONE suggested that rats who mate regularly had a higher rate of cell proliferation in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain linked to memory. The rats also experienced more brain cell growth and a rise in the number of connections between brain cells than those who did not.

In 2013, Dr Weeks told the British Psychological Society that sex has a number of health benefits which can make men and women look between five and seven years younger. Partly, this is due to the health benefits summarised above (a healthy person tends to look younger than an unhealthy person), but he also pointed to the release of human growth hormone in the act of love making, which makes skin look more elastic.

Another piece of research, conducted by scientists at the Royal Edinburgh University, found that couples who merrily romp at least four times a week look a whole decade younger than less libidinous twosomes. The pleasure of penetration releases positive hormones such as adrenalin, dopamine and norepinephrine, which help preserve skin cells and relax muscles, therefore preventing wrinkles.

Jo and I are on the right track.