Mountain lodge

Jo and I just got back from a weekend at a mountain lodge with a small group (about 20 people) of swingers. We didn’t have very high expectations because most of the people there were not a good match for us, but we hoped to make some connections.

We had some fun. We went for a moderately long hike (nearly six miles) and saw some beautiful scenery. We laughed a lot with Janice and talked and kissed with Tanya. I was interested in both Janice and Tanya but there wasn’t really anyone of interest to Jo. There was one couple (Sebastian & Ruby) that showed up late from over four hours away where the guy was a good match for Barb. But the woman is probably 30 years younger than me. I questioned whether she would have any interest in me anyway. They hooked up with Tanya and Ichabod.

Late on Saturday evening I did manage to get Sebastian and Ruby into a conversation and things seemed to go very well for while. We talked about swinging quite a bit and they were quite interested in one of my hobbies unrelated to sex. Jo thought “this is going to work” but there was a medical emergency event with someone in the hot tub and it “spoiled the buzz” for everyone.

As we were leaving the next morning Ruby was in the kitchen as I was searching for a quick breakfast. She was very friendly and I gave her my card with more information about how to get involved in the hobby they expressed interest in. She seemed enthusiastic about it. So maybe we’ll hear from them again sometime.

Tanya told us about a couple swinging podcasts she really likes:

I’ve downloaded the first few episodes and am going to start listening to them.

She also raved about how much they enjoy lifestyle cruises.  She and Ichabod have gone on three now. Jo and I are going on one in October of this year and I hope we don’t have our expectations too high after all the praise she has been giving them.

Men who fantasize about their wives with another man

Interesting article by Justin Lehmiller:

“cuckold porn” is second only to “youth” in heterosexual porn searches.

From an evolutionary perspective, the idea that a guy would take pleasure from watching his wife with another man is counterintuitive. Historically, men have gone to great lengths to avoid being “cuckolded,” or finding their wives impregnated by someone else. Not only does cuckoldry limit men’s ability to “spread their seed,” but it forces them to expend scarce resources raising someone else’s kids. The fear of cuckoldry is thought to be a key factor that shaped how our male ancestors approached sexual relationships and, to this day, is considered by many scientists to be the reason men tend to get more jealous (often violently so) about their partners’ sexual infidelity than women.

Increasingly, scientists favor a biological explanation based on a growing body of work on sperm competition. Research shows that when one woman mates with several men, those men can display behavioral and biological changes intended to increase their likelihood of fertilizing her egg—without even realizing it. For example, when men masturbate to porn featuring multiple men having sex with the same woman, their ejaculate contains more active sperm than it does when they beat off to an all-female threesome, according to a 2005 study of 52 men. Other research has found that men report thrusting faster and deeper during sex when they suspect their female partner has cheated, presumably as a way of displacing rival sperm. These findings suggest the provocative possibility that men are “wired” to find cuckold scenarios arousing because they promote behaviors that help their own sperm win a raging intra-vaginal sperm war.

I don’t have a better explanation than the hypothesizes in the article or above but I know something is going on with me.

An example. Jo and I were at Club Topaz last night. I played with Miriam while her husband,  Mitch, was with Racheal (Jo was with Racheal’s friend Lane). After Miriam, Mitch, Racheal, and I were done Miriam and Mitch left. Racheal and I cuddled while watching Jo and Lane. We cuddled and petted for a long time before finally having sex with each other. Watching Jo with another guy and knowing Racheal had been having sex with another guy shortly before me was very arousing.