Why females are noisy during sex

Anyone that has spent time at a sex club can tell you that on average women are FAR more noisy during sex than men. This is old news but it’s also true in other primates. The reasons are still somewhat under debate:

Female chimps often cry out during sex to attract nearby males, but they keep quiet when other females are around so they don’t alert their competition, a new study finds.

The function of copulation calls made by female primates (a group that includes lemurs, monkeys, and apes, such as humans and chimpanzees, our closest relatives) has been debated for years.

“The female chimps we observed in the wild seemed to be much more concerned with having sex with many different males, without other females finding out about it, than causing male chimps to fight over them,”

Another observation is:

Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals.

Without these yells, male Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) almost never ejaculated, scientists found.

There are lots of topics for discussion here but the thing I find most interesting is that this is something apparently hardwired into the brains of many primates. I’m certain most women don’t consciously think, “I’m going to make a bunch of noise during sex to attract more men so they can have sex with me too.” However I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a fair number that have had occasion to think, “Maybe if I make some noise this guy will come and it will be over with.”

Quote of the week: Ronda

These are the largest breasts money can buy.

April 16, 2014

Jo and I heard this from a new couple we met on Wednesday. Her companion clarified that you could get larger ones but you had to leave the U.S. and go to someplace like Mexico before they would install larger implants.

Her breasts were very nice. I didn’t do any deep probing to try and detect the implants but from a cursory feel they appeared to be natural.

Quick! We need to talk to them!

Last night we went to the club again. I had some car trouble and we were later than usual. It was almost time for dinner to be served by the time we checked in at the front desk. We did the check in thing and were headed to the lockers to put our towels and stuff away in preparation for dinner when we saw a couple at the bar. Both were tall, in good shape, about our age, and very nice looking.

As we walked to the locker area Jo whispered to me, “Quick! We need to talk to them!” I agreed. We quickly put our stuff away and hurried back to the bar. They were gone. Jo got a drink for herself and then we went looking for them. They were at the buffet table filling their plates. We hurried to get in line behind them. I exchanged smiles with the woman as we went through the line. Jo and I whispered back and forth and decided to try and get at the same table with them. Luckily they chose a table that was empty and still had room for us. We asked if we could join them and when they gave permission I sat down next to the woman. We introduced ourselves and started talking. They were Andy and Ronda.

It turns out they live less than 10 miles from us and were great fun to talk to. They are smart, articulate, and happy people. They were fairly new to the club. After the party we realized they were a couple we had sent a message to via the club website back in November. We said we were interested in them and would like to have dinner with them sometime. They got back to us about two weeks later and said they were going to the club again in a couple days but they were going with another couple. But to say hi if we saw them. If we recall correctly we did see them briefly on the dance floor and said hi but nothing more.

From talking to them it wasn’t clear if they had actually had any sexual contact with anyone outside their relationship. They enjoyed being in the nude and having sex in the presence of others but they didn’t talk about anything beyond that. At one point Jo and Andy were away from the table for a while and I asked Ronda how long they had been in the lifestyle. She said they were just exploring at this point. I interpreted this to mean they hadn’t really had sexual contact with others yet. No matter they were great fun to talk to. Ronda’s adult daughter and son have very similar hobbies and strong political beliefs similar to mine and I shared links to some of my websites that might be of interest to them.

And almost as interesting was that Brenda came over and sat on the same chair with Jo, twice, and said hi. Jo and I independently came to the conclusion that since we hadn’t given her the usual attention we do that she came to looking for it. Funny!

This was sexual trivia night at the club and Jo and I seldom do very well at this. Andy and Ronda had never been on a Wednesday before and didn’t seem all that interested in the trivia game either. We almost decided not to play but finally decided that we could at least play for a while. The first round was true or false we ended up guessing on about five out of the seven questions. It turned out we only missed two and that was encouraging enough that we continued to play. We again got five of the seven questions right on the second round which was multiple choice. The last round was identification of people from their nude pictures. This was always the round Jo and I did terrible on. Ronda was amazing at this. She would announce the name of the person within a couple seconds after it was displayed. Jo and I had no clue on any but one or two even after all the verbal clues were given. With Ronda’s amazing skill on the last round we won the trivia contest. We each won a small vibrating dildo for our efforts.

After the trivia contest we migrated to the bar area talked and talked until it was getting pretty late. Jo stood next to Andy and I stood next to Ronda. Ronda ended up showing us her breasts. She told us she had them enlarged so people would look at them instead of her other body parts. Jo and I didn’t see anything wrong with any of her other body parts but we were happy to explore her breasts when offered.

It was getting pretty late and Jo would have been willing to go directly home because we both had to get up an go to work in the morning. But I wanted to at least spend a little bit of time in the play area. So we told them we were going to the play area and made it clear they were welcome to go with us. We all went to the locker room and changed. We went into the play area together and when Jo and I found “the perch” available we took it and I told Andy and Ronda they were welcome to join us if they wanted. They continued on and we didn’t see them for probably ten or fifteen minutes when they came back and took a play space nearby.

As Jo and I had sex Andy and Ronda got “warmed up” and had sex. We watched and smiled at each other as we continued our lovemaking. After Jo and I finished then cuddled for a while we got up and said good-bye to Andy and Ronda as they continued to have sex with each other.

Although we didn’t get to play with them we were pleased with how things went. They live close by and a good match for us in the physical as well as personality departments. We hope to hear have contact with them again soon.

Not tonight, I have a headache

Last night we went to our usual club. We sent a message to Alex and Alice telling them we would be there and would like to see them again. We had met them at the Meet and Greet at the end of March.

We found them shortly after arriving and had dinner with them. Alice told us she was getting a migraine but she continued to talk and we all hit it off well. We talked about a variety of things and we seemed to each find our new friends outside interests and jobs fascinating. They had been members of the club for several years but hadn’t attended in a couple years. I didn’t recognized them but that wasn’t too surprising because I almost always used to attend on Wednesday and they always attended the Saturday parties.

After dinner we moved to the hot tub. I sat next to Alice and Jo sat next to Alex. Alex and Jo almost immediately began touching each other and before there were some kisses. Alice and I were still talking with only some incidental touching of legs and feet. She was clearly aware of what was going on between Alex and Jo but there didn’t seem to be any interest on her part for similar things to be going on between us. There was some quiet talking between Alex and Jo and things cooled down a little bit. Alice continued to be friendly but without expressing opening to being touched. Finally she said that Alex didn’t need to wait for her and Jo explained either we (Jo and I) both play or neither play.

Alice said she really wasn’t feeling well. Her head hurt badly and it would be impossible for her to get excited. I told her it was fine. I understood.

Barb and I stayed in the hot tub for a few minutes longer talking to them and engaging in a little touching with them, then kissed them good-bye and went to the play area to have sex with each other.

Four Las Vegas parties in three days

Jo and I just got back from Las Vegas. We don’t really gamble but there are other things to do there that we thought might be fun. Like check out the  sex clubs.

I had heard of Vegas Red Rooster for years but reviews were so poor compared to our usual club that I had never been all that interested. When we met Calvin and Jerri last weekend they had mentioned Couples Oasis was another party house in Vegas. We had not heard of that one before. We corresponded some with Calvin and Jerri before going to Vegas and they gave us more information about the place and said they were going to the pool party on Sunday. So Jo and I decided to check it out.

We attended the Couples Oasis on Friday night. It was a pretty nice place. It was clean and reasonably well decorated. Not “rustic” at all. It was quite a bit smaller than our usual club but that wasn’t surprising. Our club is considered quite large.

We got the tour/orientation and then sat down in the bar/dance area for a while. There wasn’t anyone of any real interest to us. We wandered over to the pool table where there was a couple that was a little more interesting and we played pool for a bit. We chatted with them a little bit but there wasn’t any really ‘magic’ there so we didn’t pursue anything with them. Then we went back to the bar area for a while, got bored, and went to sit in the hot tub.  It’s more of a very small swimming pool. There are only the steps to sit on so you can’t easily sit around and talk for long periods of time but it was nice. We were the only people there but we thought maybe taking off our clothes would get other people moving in the right direction. Even if we didn’t want to have sex with any of the people we thought it would be nice to be in the same room with others as they were having sex.

No such luck. After 15 or 20 minutes we got out, dried off, put our clothes on, and went looking at the various play areas to see if there was any action someplace. Nope. People were just sitting around in the bar area drinking and doing a little bit of talking. A few minutes after 11:00 PM we left without even seeing anyone else with their clothes off.

On Saturday night we went to Vegas Red Rooster. We expected lots of single guys hovering around Jo but there wasn’t really an issue. What was an issue was the smoke filled environment. The place was heavy with smoke residue and after we left our clothes and hair smelled of smoke.

Aside from the smoke there was only one couple that sort of looked interesting. Jo talked to them for while and we probably would have been okay with them but the environment wasn’t really sexy for us.

There was one older woman with very close cut hair that came up to Jo and started telling her about her new dentures. She as losing weight because the dentures didn’t fit right and she couldn’t eat much.

There were  quite a few people there but not really enough play areas for everyone had anyone actually tried to use them. We were told that you could only stay in a play area for 20 minutes so “do your foreplay before you go in”. However, if you tipped the play area security guys $20 they would let you stay longer. Really classy.

After only an hour and a half or so we were ready to leave. We did a quick tour of the play area and found they were all empty.

It was still fairly early so we went back to Couples Oasis. We thought maybe a Saturday night would be more interesting. It was and we started talking to a couple in the bar area that seemed promising. We were having a nice chat and another couple came over to join in the conversation. They were interesting to talk to but, physically, were not playmate material. The second couple sort of crowded out the first couple so we again decided to leave. Again we made a tour of the play areas to see if there was anything of interest going on. Again we couldn’t find anyone having sex.

Sunday we went on a tour through the Hoover dam power plant. In the early afternoon Calvin and Jerri texted us and said they were at the Couples Oasis pool party. We texted back and said we would be a little late but we would be there.

We arrived at the pool party and found Calvin and Jerri. Jerri and many of the other women were topless. We sat down next to them and talked for a long time. Things progressed some with Calvin sitting next to Jo and Jerri and I sitting together. There was a lot of touching as we talked. The party was to end at 5:00 PM and as party was getting close to ending I knew there wasn’t going to be any sex at this party either. None of the other people at the party seemed to have progressed beyond the talking stage and while Calvin was clearly very interested in Jo it was clear that while very friendly Jerri wasn’t interested in taking thing further with me. She kissed Jo and me and told us that she needs time to make a “connection” and that we shouldn’t be disappointed.

So we left our fourth sex party in three days and not only did we not have sex with anyone, or each other, we didn’t see anyone else having sex either. Where’s the evidence that Las Vegas is “sin city”? We sure didn’t see anything that would lead us to believe it was anything special in the sex scene.

Another quiet evening

Last night Jo went to the Muppet movie with her best friend. It was the only night which was going to work out for them because of busy schedules. I wasn’t really invited because the Muppets were a long time obsession for both of them and the Muppets just don’t mean that much to me. So Jo said I could go to the club without her.

I was looking forward to it and was pleased when I saw both Brenda and Kim on the RSVP list for the party. I went home after work and checked with Jo to make sure she was still okay with it before I went off in hopes to play with another woman. She said she was fine with it and I couldn’t detect any hints of reservation in her reassurances so I drove to the club for dinner, conversation, and hopes of some quality playtime with, if not Brenda or Kim then, someone else.

It didn’t happen. At least not the playtime. The dinner and conversation were good, almost great even. I talked with Brenda and Kim a bunch before dinner and had dinner with them and continued the conversation. Janice came up to me and gave me a kiss which was nice. I have played with her a couple times before but I think she had someone else in her sights this time and I barely saw her again.

Kim seemed far more interested in doing the Karaoke thing than playing with anyone. Long after nearly everyone else had gone off to the hot tubs and the play area she was still singing. Brenda didn’t care for the Karaoke and left after about 45 minutes. I left the table not too long after Brenda did. She told the people at the table she wanted to spend some time in the hot tub before going home to be with her husband when he got back from attending a concert.

I saw Brenda in the locker room and asked if she was interested in playing but she said she wasn’t. Since her husband was home she was just spending some time in the hot tub. I got undressed before Brenda and got to the hot tub just as a couple was leaving. There were four or five guys and one woman in the tub. The woman was with her husband and I had never seen them play with anyone other than each other. There wasn’t going to be anything happening for me here. Brenda arrived not too much later, which improved the visuals, but I wasn’t that interested in just visuals so I left after getting warmed up (the dinning area was kind of cold and I had gotten chilled).

At the entrance to the play area I chatted with Steve and Candice a bit. He had just given her a massage. He asked about my “wife” and Candice said that if she had a choice between going to the club or the Muppet movie she would totally go to the movie. She got up from the massage table, completely naked, and chatted a moment or two longer as she wrapped a towel around her. I considered asking her if she wanted to play with me but she isn’t a good match for me. I probably would have accepted had she asked me however. She went off to the hot tub, Steve went off to wash his hands, and I stayed at the entrance to the play area for a few more minutes before deciding it was time to leave. It was 10:00 PM and Jo would be home any time and I would rather be cuddled up in bed with her than standing around alone feeling sorry for myself at the entrance to the play area. There didn’t seem to be many people in there anyway. There were  few couples leaving, some in the locker room, but other than Brenda and Candice in the hot tub I didn’t see any single women around.

I arrived home about 10:40 and got into bed with Jo. We talked a for a while then, as usual after a visit to the club, we had sex then had sex again this morning.

Sex and power

I found this video (H/T to Justin J Lehmiller) about animal sex relates to what I see at our favorite sex club:

It is in the last couple of minutes that Carin Bondar tells of certain species, such as the hyena and the elephant, where the female has anatomical feature that prevent male sexual coercion. These species are matriarchal. The females have nearly all the power.

At our sex club the founding of the club was by a male/female couple with the female the driving force. She made the rules and worked to make the club a place that was comfortable for the women. Men are not allowed in the play area unless escorted by a woman. A woman only has to say, “No” once to any man giving her unwanted attention. If he doesn’t get the message management will explain it to him in no uncertain terms. He will be banned from the club if the message isn’t received.

There are many single women that attend the club. They wear revealing clothes (or nothing) on the dance floor. They flirt and touch the men that interest them. They have their pick of who their playmates are.

“Taking one for the team” is strongly discouraged. You don’t have sex with someone you aren’t interested in just so your spouse can have sex with someone they really want. Women tend to be more selective than men. Hence, what this means is that in couples the women are the primary selectors of who the couple will play with. If she isn’t attracted to the man or thinks the woman is “too attractive” she can nix a relationship with those playmates. The men have input but seldom drive the selection process.

As in those animals species described by Bondar a change in sexual rules changes the balance of power.

Update: I should have mentioned this book which addresses some of the same issues: Sex, Time, and Power: How Women’s Sexuality Shaped Human Evolution. I highly recommend it.