I saw red

Thursday morning Jo’s period started. “I’m hoping it will be almost over by the party on Saturday”, she told me. It was and we went to the monthly house party we have attended before.

Before we left we carefully reviewed the profiles of all the people who RSVP’d. Jack and Danielle were planning to attend which was nice. There were two other couples that we thought looked interesting and that we should talk to if we could. The problem was their profiles didn’t have any face pictures so it was going to be tough to identify them in a crowd of people. I think what we probably should do next time is send the people we are interested in a message a few days prior to the party and see if we can’t let them know we are interested and exchange face pictures.

We arrived a little bit late and the place was full and very loud. We could barely hear each other talk in the kitchen where all the socialization was going on. We soon spotted Jack and Danielle and gave them kisses and hugs. Cam and Rebecca were there too. We had similar greetings with them and I was thinking it might be nice to play with them tonight. But Rebecca told me they were leaving soon because of another commitment. I told Jo about this and she said something to the effect of, “What! What ‘other commitment’ could they have which would be more important that they would leave a sex party? I’m going to go ask her.” She did and found out that they were going to a hotel to live out some fantasy of theirs. I plan to ask the details the next time we see them.

Jack and Danielle seemed to have their sights set on another couple and I thought I heard Danielle ask them to go play with them but it seemed to have faltered at least for a while as the two couples continued to talk and flirt.

We just couldn’t see anyone that was a good match for the people we were interested in on the RSVP list so when Jo spotted a tall good looking guy across the room she said she was going to go talk to him. I wandered around a bit and snacked on the food. I found some incredible chocolate drops and brought a couple over to Jo and her prey. She was asking him about his necklace. I hung around for a bit and then drifted off to snack and chat with some others for a bit. Ultimately Jo and I connected for a bit and she said he asked, “Would you like to play with me a later this evening?” Jo said that maybe but that we only played as a couple and he said they can play separately but only at the parties, never outside the parties. His name was Alfred and his wife’s name was Debbie. We hadn’t been introduced to Debbie but Alfred had pointed her out to Jo.

Jo and I went over to where she was sitting and chatting with a couple other women. Jo said a few words about the chocolate snacks on the table in front of them and said, “See? That’s how you get started talking to them.” Then she left to go back to Alfred. I tried one of the chocolate covered pretzels. I didn’t care much for it but one of the women asked how it was. She said she had been avoiding them all evening. I told her I didn’t care much for them but there were some awesome chocolate drops over on the counter if she liked chocolate. She appeared to be exercising her will power and said she liked chocolate but would hold back at least for a while. She then asked Debbie something about her husband if he was here. Debbie smiled and said, “He’s over there with his tongue in the mouth of some woman. I think I’ll go over and check her out.”

As she stood up to leave I looked over and it was Jo. I told her that was my girlfriend. She immediately took an interest in me and we started talking. She asked if we could go someplace else where it was quieter so we could talk. I readily agreed. I did not care for the loud environment and we went outside and talked for five or ten minutes. They had been together for 10 years and married about a year. They had been playing with other couples for about three years and were really enjoying it.

I was starting to get cold and I was about to suggest we go inside when she said something very low key but clear she wanted to have sex with me. Something like, “Would like to do something else with me?” I readily agreed and said we need to go talk to Jo and Alfred about this. She agreed and as we walked in she said, “I’m having my period. Is that still going to be okay?” I said I had done that before. It should be okay.

We found Alfred and Jo where we had left them and Debbie told Jo, “I just propositioned your husband. Is that okay?” Jo said yes and asked Alfred if he wanted to go play with us. He agreed and we went off to find a bedroom. Debbie suggested the master bedroom with the shower so that she could clean up if necessary. It was the same room where Danielle and I had played last time. Debbie and I took the bed and Jo and Alfred took one of the mattresses on the floor. There was also a FMF threesome in the room playing on a futon or couch.

We all took off our clothes and started kissing and touching. She performed oral sex on me and I quickly got an erection. I rolled her over and then touched and kissed her breasts. Debbie has very large all natural breasts and I complemented her on them. She asked if I would like to fuck them and I said that I could do that for a while if she liked it. She asked if I had done that before and I said once. She got out some coconut oil and I rubbed my cock between her breasts as she squeezed them together. It was nice but it wasn’t all that interesting to me. We took off her panties and I gave her clit some attention. The tampon string was now obvious and she said would remove it. She said she was concerned it might gush out so she went to the bathroom to do it. I watched Jo and Alfred kissing and manually stimulating each other while Debbie was gone but still it was pretty disruptive to have her “pull the plug” when I was rather aroused.

She came back and we tried to pick up where we left off but it never really got back to where we were. I only had a partial erection and after putting the condom on I just wasn’t getting much sensation from intercourse and ultimately ended up using my fingers on her. She said she had a couple orgasms but I’m not convinced she did. We joined Jo and Alfred on the mattress as they had sex.

Debbie touched Jo for a while then quickly took an interest in one of the women who had been involved in the MFM on the futon next to the mattress. They started getting into it pretty good. And then Alfred said he need to take a break.

I immediately started giving Jo some attention and soon we were fucking as Debbie was eating on the other woman as Alfred watched.  When Jo and I were finished Debbie turned her attention to Jo and the two of them kissed and then for several minutes Debbie ate on Jo. Jo made the usual noises and shuddered and shook for a while then finally said she was tired out too. Debbie said she was glad Jo said something because she was exhausted as well. As she withdrew there was some spotting of blood from Jo’s period too. We chatted for a bit, cleaned up, and put on our clothes and went back into the kitchen to see if there were anyone else to talk to.

Jo worked her way to the snacks and I visited the music/dance area. There was a very tall good looking women I had seen earlier headed the other direction. I had seen her earlier in the evening but hadn’t been able to see if she was with a man and what the man looked like. I didn’t try to make contact then but this time as we passed in the hall we caught each others eye and she gave me a big smile and said hi. I smiled back and said hi as well.

There wasn’t much of interest in the dance area and I went back to the kitchen and stood with Jo as we surveyed the room. A guy, from the other side of the kitchen, told Jo, “Wow! You are really tall.” That was the introduction to a couple we talked to for 10 or 15 minutes before we left to go home.

They were interesting. The woman in particular went on about couples that were just “exploring” and “didn’t want to do anything on the first date”. She didn’t want a relationship. “I already have a relationship. I don’t want to date. I just want to fuck with the couples we meet.” It was a more extreme version of what our complaints have been recently and we laughed and agreed with them. We exchanged aliases on the swinger website we are both on and despite the guy’s suggestion that we go play right then Jo and I said we were partied out for the evening and we left for our long drive home.

It was actually fairly early compared to other times we had returned from this house party but Jo fell asleep in the car. It was about 12:20 when we arrived in our bedroom and I was almost asleep in bed by the time Jo had prepared and slipped between the sheets with me. We hugged and kissed for a bit and she suggested we wait until morning before doing anything else. I agreed and I probably fell asleep in seconds.

This morning we woke up late, talked about the previous evening, and then had sex twice before taking our showers and eating breakfast.

Quote of the day: Sharon

After a couple years in my first two marriages I felt like I was suffocating. I  HAD to have some other partners. They were both good  husbands and lovers. I just needed more. This gives me that opportunity.

Member of a swingers club.
November, 1999

I really liked Sharon and over the decade or so that I knew her spent a lot of time talking to her yet I only had sex with her twice. She had a lot insight into herself and her relationships. The club felt like home to her. It was place where she could relax and be herself. Outside the club she always had to be “on guard” to put up the front of what people expected her to be rather than who she was.

Another step across the desert

Last night we went to our usual club again. It was amateur strip night.

We had been watching the online RSVP list closely  and were pleased to see Andy and Ronda on the list. We had really enjoyed talking to them and they are very nice looking. But when we arrived we saw Ronda with a woman going through orientation. She smiled and waved at us as we put our stuff in a locker but we were a bit perplexed as to what was going on.

We talked to Sean and Martha at the snack bar for a while. It was nice but Jo doesn’t really think there is any potential for a full swap with them so she hinted we should move on. We talked with Janice for a bit and she surprised Jo by referring to someone as a freak. We all knew him but she had sex with him once and told us the details not too long after that. She would never do that again. We had been less than interested in him even before she told us and we are polite but don’t give him encouragement. It was a surprise to hear Janice use such a harsh label on him but she isn’t really out of line in our way of thinking.

We filled our plates with food at the buffet table and sat down at a nearly empty table. A couple guys sat with us but we weren’t interest in either of them. Then we saw what looked to be a new couple who were sitting alone. They were very nice looking so Jo made our apologies to our table companions and we moved to the other table.

It turns out James and Anna weren’t new. They had been members for about six months and attended about once a month. We just hadn’t crossed paths before. We had a wonderful conversation with them. It turns out Anna really likes being watched. Participating in strip night is a major attraction for her. It was ambiguous whether they actually played with other people or not.

When it got close to the time when the strip contest was to begin they left to prepare and “the freak” and his wife joined us at the table. It was fine, we enjoy talking to them but it didn’t enhance our chances of finding playmates for the evening.

We then watched the strip contest. Wow! The amateurs are getting good. We were very impressed. Jo won the first time she participated but that performance would have been in the bottom half of the contestants last night. Our dinner companion Anna won. It was well deserved.

Jo and I went off to the dressing room to change at nearly the same time as Sean and Martha and James and Anna. Jo and I talked between ourselves about the prospects for the evening. Sean and Martha went straight to the massage tables to get professional massages from Gretchen and Steve so they were out.

I was interested in Anna and Jo was fine with James but Jo didn’t think they were interested in us. The conversation was fun but just wasn’t any flirting going on. It was probably just wistful thinking on my part. She might be as much as 20 years younger than me.

So we went into the play area together and looked around some. There was some activity going on but nothing we were interested in joining or would have been welcomed into. So we ended up having sex with each other.

We left fairly early. Sean and Martha were still on the massage tables when we left. And we never did see where James and Anna went or did.

We talked to Ronda and her female companion on the way out. They still hadn’t gone near the play area. Her friend was new the club and wanted to check it out with just Ronda without Andy. Ronda said she was hesitant to go without him but Jo had inspired her when she attended without me. They seemed to be comfortable at the club and probably would soon check out the play area together soon. They were talking to one of the managers about her friend joining the club as we left.

It’s been a very long time since we both had full swap sex with others at this club. This party seemed to be just another step across the sexual desert.

When we got home we, as usual, had sex again with each other.

MFM threesomes

I found a blog post with someone asking for MFM threesome advice. I left the following comment and thought it might be useful for my readers here:

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had MFM threesomes with various women. Probably a third of them were with my (now ex-) wife and the rest were at sex parties with other women. They were all great fun.

My advice to anyone trying a threesome for the first time is for the minority gender, the woman in this case, to not worry about satisfying both of their other playmates. This is a time for them to lay back and enjoy the attention. If you worry about making two people happy you are taking on double the “work” load and you will stress about that too much.

If they are like me they will have a great time without getting quite as much attention from you as they usually would.

Casual sex can be good for you

Interesting research:

New research suggests that not all casual sex is bad. For those legitimately interested, it can boost life satisfaction and self-esteem and lessen anxiety.

By the end of the study, 42 percent of subjects reported having sex outside a relationship. When it came to those who were sociosexually unrestricted, having casual sex was associated with higher self-esteem and life satisfaction and lower depression and anxiety. “Typically, sociosexually unrestricted individuals (i.e., those highly oriented toward casual sex) reported lower distress and higher thriving following casual sex, suggesting that high sociosexuality may both buffer against any potentially harmful consequences of casual sex and allow access to its potential benefits,” the researchers write. Additionally, feelings of authenticity “amplified” the beneficial psychological effects, but did not spur them, as hypothesized. Surprisingly, the researchers did not find any negative effects on well-being in those who were sociosexually restricted but had casual sex anyway.

I know that if I am monogamous for a year or more then I get into a bad state of mind. It’s difficult to think about anything but having sex with someone new. I also get irritable and depressed.

I feel really good after Jo and I have a nice sexual experience with others. As Jo said after one particularly enjoyable evening, “That was fun!”

You’re doing it wrong

From the New York Post:

The wild night began Saturday in a tavern in College Point, Queens, where boat owner Craig Gallo, 51, James Benenato, 60, and Mary Ann Belson, also 60, began chatting between drinks, another source said.

Neither of the two men had met Belson before.

Gallo, who lives in New Jersey and works for a financial company on Long Island, invited them aboard for a moonlight cruise. And before very long, the boat was rocking.

The joyride ended abruptly at the end of Runway 22, where the boat got impaled on a lighting stanchion.

Before the wreck, “a consensual three-way sex endeavor was going on,’’ the source added.

“There’s a moral here: If you’re feeling amorous aboard a boat, I suggest you drop your anchor before you drop your pants.’’

I’ve participated in more MFM threesome than I can enumerate without making the news. These people were doing it wrong.

I was amused

A librarian in the mid-west I know says they frequently have to chase creepy guys out of the library who come in and masturbate while using the computers to view porn. When you think about it makes a certain amount of sense that under certain circumstances someone might go to the library to view porn.

Hence it was with more than the obvious amusement factor that I saw this entry when I was reviewing the log files for this blog and found this for an entry in the month of June:

69 requests by 21-73-212-66.spl.org from

“spl.org” is the Seattle Public Library.

Quote of the week: Jackee

Bob: How long after your first party did it take you to adapt?

By about the eighth guy — that night.  Of course I didn’t learn until the next day that I really needed to take some extra lubrication along. I  couldn’t walk right for about a week afterwards.

At a swingers party.
February 22, 1996

I then asked, “So you had sex with eight guys that night?” Her answer was, “No. I had sex with about 20 guys that first night. It was after the eighth that I was really comfortable with this environment.”

Women get far more out of a sex club than men do. They have the sexual capacity to enjoy it far more than men do and the amount of freedom it gives them compared to the repression they experience in most societies is far greater than that experienced by men.

She said I’m a great kisser!

Saturday Jo and I went to our usual club. I had family obligations late that afternoon and we arrived after dinner was essentially over. Thus we missed out on getting a table with the people of our choice. We ended up sitting with a couple that we believed to be new to the club. They were nice looking but perhaps a little bit too young to be interested in us.

The evenings entertainment started before we really had much time to talk to them. The first part of the entertainment was the “birthday chairs” for everyone with a Gemini horoscope. Jo qualified and decided she would participate just to “advertise” ourselves some since we were so late in arriving.

The people with qualifying birthdays are put in chairs in the middle of the dance floor and then everyone who wants to wish them a happy birthday comes up and gives them a hug, kiss, or ‘whatever they mutually agree upon’. I’ve never been interested in participating either as the “birthday boy” or as a well wisher. I’m a little too shy and I a little picky about the people I kiss but Jo decided to try it this time. She was just afraid no one would give her any attention. Wrong!

Jo got lots of attention. A line formed up in front of her chair. Numerous men and women gave her kisses and hugs. She felt good about the experience. She liked the attention and it gave her ego a boost. We haven’t been very successful at the club for a while and getting attention from others was nice.

The live band started and it was difficult to talk to anyone so Jo and I danced with each other for a while. Kim danced with us for a while. Tom and Mary danced next to us with Tom giving Jo some special attention and that was nice. But  we didn’t see anything that would develop into some playtime with others for us as a couple. The new couple at our table seemed a little uncomfortable and appeared to get their bag and coat in preparation to leave and then watched people dancing for quite a while. I was tempted to talk to them but the music was loud enough to inhibit that so finally Jo and I went to the play area by ourselves.

We “bumped into” a woman near the dressing room who gave Jo a big smile and told her she was a great kisser. She was one of the women you gave Jo a kiss while she was in a birthday chair. This was a big deal to Jo. She mentioned it a couple more times in the following days and suggested it as a title for this blog post. I readily agreed because I was thinking the same thing.

We ended up in the mirror room next to another couple. They might have been okay playmates but they didn’t seem to even notice us so we just played with each other. We ended up leaving kind of early and were home in bed having sex with each other before midnight. Then we had sex again, twice, in the morning as we “slept in”.