We went to a meet and greet at our usual club last night. We went to the very first one a few months ago and had a nice time but had not been back for one since. We decided to try it again. There were a lot of people attending. In fact there were more people attending than were at the last party we went to. The play area is closed except for tours for the new people until midnight. By midnight all the new people have to become members or leave. Then the play area is opened up. Midnight is late for Jo. She frequently has trouble staying awake even until 11:00 PM. But she took a nap during the afternoon and figured she could handle it this time.

It didn’t take long for Jo to find someone she was interested in. I think I had gone to the bathroom then went to check my cellphone for messages when she came to find me and tell me I needed to check out his wife to see if I was interested. We went back to the social area and stood around the table chatting and drinking with them. Yes, Alice was nice. She was smart and nice looking. She and Alan had been members for many years in the past but had taken a break starting in about 2007. They were now ready to come back and play again.

At 9:30 there was discussion group that I wanted to participate in. For some reason I just assumed that everyone else would be interested as well. When the social director announced it was starting I headed off for that and then noticed the rest of the people at the table weren’t going. I told them I was really interested and I would be back afterward.

The discussion was interesting and I came away from it with my Quote of the Week. Jo joined me when there was about 15 minutes left and we contributed some to the discussion. Mostly it was about communication with your potential playmates before going into the play area. Our contributions was primarily about the soft swap incident we were surprised by. Brenda contributed a similar incident she had recently too. She was with some guy in the play area and things were going fine then just when he should have been putting on a condom and “getting down to business” he told her that he didn’t go all the way. She was kind of annoyed because she had other options available that night and now she didn’t.

After the discussion broke up Jo told me that Alex was really interested in her. They had been doing a bunch of kissing. We needed to give them some attention before they found someone else.

We went back to the social area and found Alex and Alice at a different table with another couple. We joined them with Jo sitting next to Alex and me next to Jo and directly across the round table from the other couple. Alice was on the other side of Alex. Alex was showing Jo lots of physical attention as well as the conversation. Alice didn’t seem that interested and said something about having had too much to drink. She said it was okay for Alex to play on his own if he wanted but Jo told him that we played together and we weren’t interested in a threesome.

The couple across the table were interesting too. She had been a member of the club for several years in the past but had not been recently. The guy she was with had never been to the club or done anything in the lifestyle and she was trying to get back into it with him. He wasn’t entirely sure about this. She was tall, slender, and very appealing to me. She seemed to have an interest in me as well. She asked questions about how long we had been members and when Jo told her that I had first joined in 1978 she insisted I could be old enough unless I had joined when I was like 12 years old or something. She said she was 50 years old and asked how old I was. I was shocked at her age. She could have said late thirties and I wouldn’t have questioned it for a second. We talked briefly about the anti-aging effects of frequent sex. We didn’t have any valid research on the topic but we certain had some indications that such a hypothesis was valid.

She enjoyed showing off her body too. She said, “I wonder if it is okay to get undressed here even if the play area isn’t open yet.” She wasn’t going to get completely nude, just get down to her sexy underwear. We told her that it would probably be okay and if it wasn’t someone would let her know. She wandered off and then her companion left for bit as well. Perhaps to go to the bathroom or something. She came back with nothing but high heels and dark red sexy bra and briefs. She was stunning. Her body was lean with not even visible stretch marks from having two children. Her companion wasn’t back yet and she asked, “Where did he go? I got undressed and now he isn’t here!” I told her, “Whatever it is that you needed from him, just let us know and we will try to take care of your needs ourselves.” She seemed to appreciate the attention and I was thinking things could turn out okay between us, if not tonight then maybe some other time.

Her companion came back shortly and she sat on his lap and they touched each other. He announced he was the luckiest man in the world. I could definitely see his point even if I thought I could be a serious competitor with Jo. He was nice looking too and I think Jo would have been just fine with him but you could tell he was not all that interested in staying. Later we heard that just before they left she was trying to convince him to become members and stay.

With things with Alex and Alice not going too well and this other couple not appearing to be ready for “the big time” yet we decided to go. It was sometime after 11:00 PM and that is when Jo frequently starts crashing anyway. We collected our stuff, and were saying our goodbyes when we ran into Ellen who is the wife of Nick (see here and here for more about Nick) who we had said goodbye to on Wednesday. We talked to her for quite a while since we knew we would not see her again for a  long time, if ever. She told us she wished they could go with us to Las Vegas next weekend but she was flying out on Sunday. I’m not sure how it came up but one or the other of us mentioned blogs. It turns out that she has been blogging about her experience in the lifestyle since the very first time about a year and a half ago. She told me the name of her blog, Blissfully Open, and I told her about this one. We were both fascinated about finding out that each other were telling our stories online. She hasn’t blogged for several months because “of some problems it was causing”. I didn’t ask exactly but from reading it I have my guesses.

We finally left as it was nearing midnight and on the way home I read one of Ellen’s blog posts (they are LONG) to Jo. I also discovered that Nick has a blog as well, Compersive Times. It is very interesting reading and I have another blog post in mind from the perspective someone who has been in the lifestyle for a long time and seen a lot of things happen with couples relationships. Nick and Ellen exhibit part of a common pattern. There were some stresses introduced by entering into the lifestyle. There some stresses it relieved as well and I suspect things are settling down at this point which, again, is also part of the pattern. Nick and Ellen are very smart and articulate people. I wish them well and if they were interested and available I would like to discuss things with them and perhaps help them if they still have some issues to resolve.

When we got home Jo and I talked a little about Nick and Ellen’s blogs then, as it usually after coming back from the club, we had sex with each other.

Last night we arrived to the club a little bit later than usual. But it was still plenty early. The only downside was that we didn’t get as good a parking spot as usual. We checked in and talked with our usual friends. Nick was there and we talked quite a bit to him. He and Ellen are soon leaving the area for an extended period of time and this was his good-bye visit to the club. We talked to Brenda and Kim too and the four of us were going to have dinner together. Jo and I were thinking that she could hookup with Nick and I could probably play with Brenda or Kim. As we were sitting down Nick apologized and said he had to accept an invitation at a different table, “It is weird”, he said. We knew there was some “interesting” history there but didn’t ask. That little change of seating changed the dynamic for the evening. I was now sitting at a table with three women as the only guy. Nice, but now who is there for Jo? Another woman came along and asked if she could sit with us. Of course she could. Then another woman joined us. The table was full. I was with five single women. Luckiest guy at the club, right? Maybe not so much. I wasn’t going to invite one of them to play when Jo was going to be left out. We ate dinner, had a nice conversation with our dinner companions, watched the evenings entertainment. It was “Amateur Strip Night” at the club. Jo won the $100 prize very first time they had one of these. That was last October. Now the bar has been raised so high that Jo doesn’t even enter. They had some really good amateur participants. This is probably our favorite club entertainment now. For the most part we view the entertainment part of the party as just a distraction that keeps people from migrating to the play areas sooner. We still consider it a bit of a distraction but it’s a pleasant distraction. After the contest Jo looked around and it appeared that Nick was going to be “busy” for the evening and there wasn’t anyone else of interest to her there. We decided that I would use the massage coupon we had won at a raffle at a previous party. Jo would sit in the hot tub while I got my massage then we would go to the play area together. As always I had a nice conversation with Gretchen. Jo came back from the hot tub to check on me once and then sat on the couch in front of the fireplace and big screen showing porn to wait. She talked to some guy for a while then I joined her and we went into the play area together. There wasn’t much going on and we found a bed with a view of one other couple and talked for a bit. The situation in the hot tub was sort of interesting. There was a guy there that we had a threesome with once. And he had his hands all over her and told her how much he missed her. She wasn’t that interested in him and didn’t encourage the contact. She didn’t discourage it either until it starting going a little too far. That was went she got up and came to check on me. We had sex with each other and went home where we had sex again.

Night before last Jo and I visited a different club. I had known about it for decades but never visited before. My ex-wife and I made plans to visit once with my landlord who had attended a few times but the plans fell through when my landlord came down with a cold.

The driveway and parking lot shared some characteristics with a maze and we weren’t exactly sure how to make it from the parking lot to the party house. We parked next to another couple who had just arrived and I figured we could follow them in. It was nearly pitch black and after we locked up the car and the lights were out I turned on my flashlight so we could avoid the mud puddles in the graveled parking area. That was when we saw the faces of the other couple for the first time. It turned out to be Nancy and her boyfriend. Nancy is considered to be “an old flame” of mine by Jo. There is a certain amount of truth to this but it’s also a bit of an exaggeration. After breaking up with my wife Nancy and I frequently slept together and went to the club together. I had met her there in fact. I really liked the companionship but she wasn’t interested in a committed relationship like I was and she wasn’t that great of match physically either. I’m quite tall and she is quite short. We are still on good terms and it was nice to see her again. Nancy explained that she had only been there once before and that was four years ago. Jo and I hadn’t seen her in several months and it was nice to catch up a bit on things. But there wasn’t going to be any playing with them. Nancy is on Jo’s “no list” for me and her current boyfriend was of zero interest to Jo.

The place is not nearly as physically nice as our usual club. We got a tour and went through orientation with about 20 other people. The play areas were few and except for one very large public/voyeur area they were small as well. Some of the play areas were even in separate buildings. You had to walk 75 to 90 feet across the yard to these other small buildings. That could be a real “joy killer” when it was cold outside and you weren’t wearing much in the way of clothes.

I had heard the décor described as “rustic” before and that was accurate. Minor disrepair might also have been appropriate. The hot tub had pieces of missing tile and the rough concrete edges were cold and abrasive on my back when we soaked in the tub for a while.

I looked around for others we might know from our usual club. Apart from Nancy there was a guy that used to come to the club with his wife, then got divorced, then with another woman for a while. I hadn’t seen him in months at our club and we briefly said hi to each other.

We originally thought we would like to participate in the couples speed dating event and sat down at the long table a few minutes before it was to start. As the table filled up we realized there was no one at the table we were interested in. The people there reminded us a lot of the meet and greet (and retreat) we attended last week. Again we retreated.

We sat on a couch in a clothing required area and had a nice chat with a young guy. His wife was close by chatting with another couple. They were pretty young and probably weren’t interested in us even if we had been exceptionally interested in them–which we weren’t. As we sat there we did see another couple arrive. It was the same couple we had sort of skipped over in the mirror room last week. They recognized us and we smiled at each other.

Eventually Jo and I wandered off to take a quick look at some of the play areas to see what was happening. There was some play going on but nothing we were interested in so we took off our clothes and sat in the hot tub. After a while a nice looking couple joined us and we hit it off quite well. They were younger than us but fun to talk to. This was their first time here as well and had the same opinion about the quality of the furnishing as we did. I asked them what sort of things they were interested in and they told us it was mostly other women for Janet but occasionally they played with couples too.

After a long chat and starting to get a little wrinkly we all decided to get out. There was some talk of leaving the club entirely and going back to their hotel room (they were from out of state) or my apartment with the water bed and mirrored canopy. They sort of seemed interested but didn’t run with the idea.

As we were drying off and putting clothes on Janet and Jo decided they needed a drink. Janet said she had a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Dr. Pepper in their car and we all went out into the parking lot. Henry and Janet, especially Janet, were a little bit on the crazy side. It was in a fun way and even though Jo and I had spent decades with truly crazy spouses this couple was okay. Janet drank most of the bottle with Jo taking a few sips. We laughed and talked for probably a half hour and then went back inside. Rather than picking up the rest of our stuff and leaving as I sort of expected they decided to do some dancing. It had come up that Jo had won an amateur pole-dance/stripping contest at our club once. She told Janet and Henry that whenever she hears Prince singing Cream she has an urge to take off her clothes because that was the music she used for the contest.

Jo and Janet went to the dance area with Henry and I following. Janet urged the D.J. to play Cream by Prince and, as you might expect, the D.J. made that the next song and Jo and Janet started pole dancing and stripping to the music. They kissed and they touched and soon Henry took off his clothes and joined them at the pole. I took off my clothes and Janet met me as I stepped into the dance area. We touched and fondled each other as we danced and then we all gyrated and rubbed against each other around the pole. Another woman joined us for a while and Janet gave her attention as well as Jo and I. Then the couple from our club who Jo and I weren’t interested in joined in at the pole.

Janet and Henry moved to the bed next to the pole where still another couple had been laying for quite some time. The man had been fingering her for at least 20 minutes without things really moving beyond that or the woman even appearing to be very excited by anything. As things between Janet and Henry heated up the other couple on the bed left. Jo and I occupied the place they vacated and had oral sex with each other. Henry and Janet started having sex with each other and Jo and I had sex beside them. Then the couple from our club, who we weren’t interested in, lay down on the bed beside Jo and I. They were both touching Jo and the woman was touching me some. We didn’t reciprocate but didn’t reject them either. Then as Janet migrated over the top of us to touch the other woman Jo and I migrated off the bed. We decided it was time to leave. The couple we weren’t interested in were too involved and it wasn’t what we wanted. As Jo said our good-byes to Henry and Janet Henry asked that she give him a “lap dance”. He was laying flat on his back on the bed and Jo lay on top of him for a minute or so and rubbed against him but then got up and we left.

Jo and I talked about the club as we left and decided we were glad we went but were pretty sure we wouldn’t be going back. The layout and the finish of our normal club was so much better. And since we do the volunteer work there all our parties are free there just wasn’t a point in going to a club that wasn’t as nice and we had to pay $45 per party for.

We we got home we had sex again, then again the next morning, and again that night and again this morning. We haven’t had sex with other people much in a while but things are still rocking with each other.

Last Saturday the RSVP list didn’t look all that promising. There just didn’t seem to be anyone that interesting planning to attend. We looked around some when we arrived and a couple that had requested to be “friends” on the website were there. We had never met them but they had sent the friends request. We accepted it but with a bit of reluctance. For one thing they were mostly interested in single women. Other couples were a “maybe” for them. And physically they didn’t really stand out for us. Okay, in real life, they look a bit nicer than our initial impression from their pictures so maybe we should sit with them at their table and chat.

We enjoyed the conversation. They were very interesting and happy people and we ate dinner with them.  It came up that some friends of theirs were attending the club for the first time and we offered up our seats at the table for them. Jo and I then wandered off to talk to some other people.

Les and Glenda are a very nice looking couple and somehow we started talking to them. The conversation went well and another couple joined us at the edge of the dance floor as we talked.  We went to their table and talked some more. We ultimately migrated to the dance floor and Jo joined Mandy in the dance cage. I got in the cage as well and then Kim joined us. It was three very attractive women and me dancing in a small raised cage in the center of the dance floor. Nice. Jo and I touched, kissed, and rubbed our bodies against each other and involved the other women some as well.

We spent quite a bit of time on the dance floor in and out of the cage. The floor was nearly packed and the cage got so full there were people hanging on to the outside of it as well as packing into the interior. Glenda joined in and there was a lot of kissing and touching between her and various women including Jo. Ultimately Jo asked if Glenda and Les would like to go to the play area with us. They agreed and off we went.

We found a place to play in the mirror room and began touching and kissing. First it was with our own partners and then the women played with each other. Then Glenda began touching me as well as Jo. Then finally she gave her whole attention to me. She performed oral sex on me as the activity between Jo and Les heated up. Glenda put lube all over my chest and stomach as I lay on my back then she rubbed her naked body against mine. We kissed and rubbed and finally I rolled her over, performed oral sex on her for a while. After a while I scooted up to where my penis was rubbing her groin area and reached for the condom I had laying next to our bed. She then told me, “I know we haven’t talked about this but we only do soft swap.”

That explained what I was seeing with Jo and Les. They seemed very “ready” but things had “stalled” just short of intercourse. They were laying spoon style facing Glenda and I with Les slowing humping her in the back. But I was pretty sure he wasn’t in the right position to actually be penetrating her. And the expression on Jo’s face was definitely not that of when she is having sex.

I continued to stimulate her with my hands, fingers, and tongue for a while. Then I moved over to give Jo some attention. I wanted more than just foreplay! Jo and I had sex for a while and she whispered, “We could migrate to the right.”

There were two other couple on the beds next to us. At the far end was Tom and Mary. In between was a couple with a guy that Jo wasn’t interested in. But his wife was very nice looking and as her husband was giving still another woman on the bed some attention we began touching the other woman and moved closer.

The other woman was very receptive but it was sort of strange. She was talking and saying how nice it was but there was no movement and no real excitement in her voice. She was just sort of laying there even when I was performing oral sex and giving her vigorous finger fucking. As her husband started giving Jo attention Jo moved on to Mary who was right next to us.

I just couldn’t get excited about the woman I was with and moved on to give some exposed parts of Jo some attention as she played with Mary. Tom and Mary began having sex with each other and Jo and I did the same. Mary was laying on the bed with her head next to Jo’s side as we all had sex. I once reached over and put my hand on Mary’s breast and her hand immediately went to the top of mine. She didn’t move my hand away or say anything but I got the feeling she wasn’t entirely certain she wanted me to be touching her. Tom and Mary finished a little before we did and watched and touched Jo’s breasts some as we finished up.

Jo and I talked with Tom and Mary for a while and then we all decided to leave the play area. Mary kissed Jo and thanked her. She then asked if she could kiss me. I readily agreed and we had a quick kiss.

We met up with Tom and Mary later when the midnight snacks were served. We learned more about them and how they met. It turned out that Mary had considered herself a lesbian and wasn’t interested in men when she met Tom. She was meeting men via Match.com and going on a date or two then writing a chapter in a book about them. Tom was going to be chapter 13. A part of this conversation is the quote of the week. That was several years ago.

Now Mary is interested in “further exploring her sexuality” and, as Tom put it, she will reach out and touch but then pull back. He seemed a little surprised that Mary kissed me. That was apparently new territory.

It was a very pleasant evening. We were rather disappointed we didn’t get to do a full swap with Les and Glenda. We certainly were all ready for it and fully expected it. Had we known ahead of time we probably wouldn’t have invited them to go play with us. But it ended up okay. A little less than what we wanted but it was still a nice experience.

Last night Jo and I went to a “meet and greet” at a lounge about 45 minutes from where we live. It was with an online group we just joined. It was advertised as for couples and bi-sexual females. Even though I have been in the lifestyle for decades in this area I had never heard of them.

Online it looked promising. They said the previous event of this sort had 55 couples so it would seem the chances of finding compatible couple should be fairly good. The drive was a little longer than we really like to travel for just an evening but maybe we could meet people close to where we lived and it would be worth the time invested.

We arrived well after it had started and for some reason Jo was nervous. She wanted to get a drink before going into the back area where “our” group was. We went to the bar, got her a drink and then walked back into the area where the people from our part of the Internet were. There were quite a few people there. There were only a few empty chairs. But it was easy to see we were way out of place here. We had dressed up just a little bit. Jo wore a typical dress she would wear to the club. Very short with a significant amount of cleavage and “sharp”. I wore a nice sweater, newish black jeans and dress shoes. With the exception of one very young couple everyone else was nearly indistinguishable from one another. The clothes were old and fading. Then there was the fact that their bodies all seemed to be closely related to that of the Pillsbury dough boy. I asked Jo, “Do you see anyone you are interested in?” “Nope, not a one”, she replied.  “Ready to go?”, I asked. “Yup!”, she replied and she placed her barely touched drink down on a table and we left.

Well… At least we know that group wasn’t a good match for us.

Last night we went to the club again. There didn’t seem to be anyone very interesting signed up but we figured we could just go and talk to people and leave early if there wasn’t anyone of interest. There was one couple that looked nice enough and we thought we would try and find them and see how things went.

More people showed up at the last minute and it was a fairly well attended party. The couple we had some interest in came and sat down next to us in the snack area shortly after we arrived. Jo and the other guy were sitting next to each other on a couch with me on the other side of Jo. The other woman sat on a chair at the end of the couch just past her husband. Jo and the other guy seemed to hit it off well and I chipped in a sentence or two occasionally but because of the seating arrangement the other woman and I just didn’t have much opportunity to talk. I suppose I should have moved over near her to engage her in conversation but there wasn’t much in the way of seating opportunities near her. After 20 minutes or so she indicated she wanted to leave and they wondered off to another area and we didn’t really see them again until the entertainment part of the evening.

At dinner Brenda, Ed, Gretchen, Steve, Jo, and I sat together. It was a quite nice conversation. The entertainment for the night was “Spin the Bottle” with some enhancements for the club environment. The previous time Jo and I were there on “Spin the Bottle” night we had zero interest in the people that participated and so we stayed away. This time there were much more interesting people participating. So after some encouragement from Ed we joined in. Barb and I both ended up kissing several different women and Barb kissed a couple different guys as well. It was fun even though we both discovered some attractive women were smokers from our kisses.

We had hoped we could sometime would come of the entertainment but nothing really jumped out at us. We debated about just going home but ended up going to the play area alone. We went to “The Perch” and played with each other. As we were leaving one of the couples from the spin the bottle group invited us to join them in the Mirror Room but we declined. Had it been earlier we probably would have joined them and the other couple on the big beds under the mirrors.

We came home and had sex again before going to sleep.

The club had a themed party last night. We were supposed to dress as super heroes. Jo and weren’t all that interested in doing the costume thing but we went anyway.

Mandy, the entertainment director, was dressed as Wonder Woman. Kim was dressed as Wonder Woman. And still another woman was dressed as Wonder Woman. There were some other costumes as well. One guy was Clark Kent and changed into Superman during the party. But none were duplicated or as well done as the Wonder Women.

I asked Kim about the previous party. I wondered if I was reading things right. She said that she was trying to get away from one of the guys at the bar but the other guy that she ended up playing with was nice and she enjoyed his company. I asked if she was interested in playing with me some time and she said that was a possibility. She had thought I was going to end up with Brenda that night and I told her about the hurt back and Brenda’s plans to go home early without putting her back at risk with energetic sex play.

Jo and I then sort of hung around in the snack and bar areas looking for some attractive couples. Wilma, the other entertainment director gave us a super hero trivia quiz and we used that a pretense to sit down next to a nice looking couple at a table to collaborate on answering the quiz. We talked extensively with them. They had been to Hedonism Resort and told us all about it. They had been to several sex clubs in Canada and told us about those. We talked about thinking about attending a lifestyle cruise and our recent “vanilla” cruise in the Bahamas. We ended up having dinner with them and continued the conversation. Once when both the women were away the guy told me that his wife had a much stronger sex drive than he did and that he had to limit her to just once every 48 hours when she would have preferred twice a day. I told him that twice a day would be Jo’s preference too but I couldn’t really sustain that frequency. I don’t have to ration her to once every 48 hours though. It occurred to me that even though neither woman wore a Wonder Woman costume they probably qualified in some way as wonder women. That makes five that I know of at the party.

After dinner Jo asked the woman of the couple we had dinner with if they would like to play with us and was told, “It’s kind of early, maybe later.” Which Jo interpreted to mean, “No.” We ended up going to the play area by ourselves. We spent some time in the mirror room having sex as others were near by doing the same. Then we moved to a private bunk we had never used before that had a good view of the “Red Room” group area. The six people there were having a good time and they invited us to play with them but we didn’t have a physical interest in any of them even though they were fun to watch as we played with each other. We saw the dinner couple in the play area a couple of times but only exchanged a pleasant hello with them. They didn’t invite us to join them or anything.

It was a pleasant evening even if we didn’t play with anyone else. But just going to the club without finding new playmates isn’t really worth spending so much time.

As I mentioned in my previous post Jo gave me a “hall pass” to go to the club while she went to her son’s concert. I have had far better times at the club. If I was a good enough writer I think it could made into a comedy skit without exaggerating the details much. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me.

First, the traffic was terrible. What should have been a 35 minute drive took an hour.

I knew that both Brenda and Kim would be there and planned to hang out with them and see if one of them were interested in playing with me. Brenda was standing in front of the fireplace when I got there which is typical. It’s frequently a little cold and it’s warmer by the fireplace plus you get to see people as they check in at the front desk for the party. I stood next to her and chatted for a while. She, and nearly everyone else, asked where Jo was. I explained the situation and then at an appropriate time I said, “I was hoping tonight would be my lucky night with you.” She said that she had hurt her back while helping to set up for the party and she was thinking she would go home right after supper. That was disappointing. We have sometimes done some pretty heavy kissing and had made it clear to each other we were interested in taking it further. But not this night I guess.

I continued to talk to her. I like talking, actually it probably is more listening, with her. She pointed out Kim at the bar with two guys chatting her up. Brenda pointed out that both of them were way below her own standard of who she was interested in playing with. Kim could do a lot better too if she wanted but seemed to find a much larger set of men acceptable to her.

We watched Kim and the interaction between her and the two guys. It didn’t seem that she was that interested in either of them and before long she came over to us and gave me a big kiss. That was the first time she had given me that strong of a signal. I was feeling pretty good about my chances with Kim. The three of us chatted until it was time for dinner.

At dinner Kim’s friend Brandi was next to me and Kim sat beyond her. Brenda was across the table from me. On the other side of Kim was one of the guys Kim had been talking to at the bar. He had her arm around her and he gave her a lot of attention. She wasn’t discouraging him but she didn’t seem to be returning much of the attention. Brandi and I talked a lot. She is smart and fun to talk to but her body type isn’t a good match for me and besides she informed everyone at the table she was being monogamous for now. She and her boyfriend got into the lifestyle because he was cheating on her and she insisted that either they both get to play outside the relationship or neither of them play outside the relationship. That worked for a while until they were both in bed with other playmates together. Afterward he spend an hour or more crying in her arms. So they decided to be monogamous .

After dinner there was some entertainment and people left our table bus their dishes and refresh their drinks and some went off to play. Kim’s was at another table with Brandi. and Brandi invited me to join them again. I did and gave my attention to Kim. I had my hand on her leg and was talking to her when “the guy” showed up again and not having a chair next to Kim stood behind her and started massaging her neck and shoulders. Brandi again started up an animated conversation with me. After a few minutes her animation got a little too vigorous and she swatted Kim’s tall glass full of soda into my lap. It was totally an accident and she was really apologetic. She even said that if she weren’t “being good” tonight she would offer to dry me off in a “creative way”. I didn’t get any such offer from Kim who also got a little bit splashed on her bare leg.

I concluded it was game over for now and went off to the dressing room to change into my robe and sit in the hot tub. I spent an hour or so in the hot tub talking to Brenda who apparently decide the hot tub was better therapy for her back than going home. Tammy showed up and talked for quite a while too. While sitting there I saw Kim enter the play area with “the guy” so I knew it was going to be a while before she would potentially available again.

After we were sufficiently wrinkled we left the hot tub. I went over to the entrance to the play area and talked to Brent for a while. He came and went a few times looking for something interesting to do. I waited for an hour or more for Kim to exit the play area hoping she would be interested in some more play time with me. Gretchen did stop by and give me a kiss and a hug before returning to her massage customers but other than that I was pretty much alone. It finally got late enough that I wouldn’t be able to get enough sleep before going to work in the morning if I didn’t leave.

I went back home and cuddled up with Jo. She asked who I was with and I told her my sad story. She was sympathetic and we talked for a while. She thought I should go again by myself but I insisted I wouldn’t be interested if she were available. I would only do it if she were busy with her son or some other family business that was a high priority. I used to go to the club alone nearly all the time and as a single guy I knew my odds were only about 50-50 and it wasn’t a big surprise that I didn’t “get lucky” this time. What was a surprise was the comedy of obstacles that appeared.

Last weekend I was going to be out of town visiting relatives while Jo stayed in town to take her son to band practice and a concert. Friday morning I suggested she attend the Saturday night party at the club. She wasn’t so sure about it at first but, as we were having sex, I told her I found the prospect of her going to the club and having sex with other men very exciting, as long as she told me all about it when we got back together. “Really?”, she asked. “Yes!”, I told her and our lovemaking increased in intensity to emphasis the point. Shortly thereafter she made reservations for the party.

On Saturday evening she sent me a picture of the clothes she was thinking of wearing with the message:

This, or that black dress? I’ve started to wonder if my trash-o-meter stopped working. It’s the fringed skirt. Thought I’d take the black dress along.

Then later while at the club she send two more messages:

Will probably be with Nick (of  Ellen and Nick).

Heading home. Was with Nick and had a nice time. I love you. Xoxoxo

When I returned home Monday evening we ate dinner and then quickly prepared for bed. We cuddled up together and reveled in the cuddling and touching each other again after three nights apart. I then asked, “Are you going to tell me about the party?” Jo replied, “The whole party or just the playtime part?” I told her the playtime part first then we could discuss the rest of the party later.

She told me that after dinner Nick asked if she really wanted to watch the entertainment or just head off to the play area early. They opted for the early playtime. She then told me, in detail, how Nick undressed her in the locker room, the bed they used (in “The Perch”), the kissing, the oral sex, the putting on the condom, him entering her, and the various positions they used. As expected we got very excited and we had sex together.

She then told me more about the party. Who she talked to before dinner, what they talked about, the men who flirted with her, and who were at the dinner table with her and Nick. When she went to the locker room to get dressed and return home she found Sam and Joan there. Sam asked, “Where is Bob?” and Jo told her that she was there as a single that night. Sam gave her a high five and said, “Hall Pass!”

I then asked if we were going to the club again on Wednesday so I could see her have sex with someone else. She reminded me there was another concert for her son but I should go by myself. I questioned her quite a bit about this to make sure she really was okay with it. In the end she summarized with, “I didn’t feel any different about you when I went by myself so I don’t see why you should feel any different about me if you go by yourself.” So I’ll be going to the club by myself tomorrow.

As Jo experienced and explained to me going by yourself simplifies some things because you don’t have to worry about your partner finding someone and having a good time too. If Brenda is there (she RSVP’d for the party) without her husband or playmate then I can play with her without worrying that Jo doesn’t have someone to play with or that Brenda’s husband, Keith, is there and Jo isn’t really interested in playing with him. As we talked about the club and the interpersonal dynamics of going alone versus as a couple we became aroused again and again had sex.

Before we went to sleep I asked, “So you had a good time and would consider going alone again if I can’t go?” Her reply was the best I could imagine, “Yes, I had a great time. I don’t know if I could ever top that experience.”

Last night Jo and I went to the club with a little different plan than usual.

We knew from the RSVP list there weren’t many people attending. And there were zero couples who were attractive to both of us. Jo suggested we hang out with Brenda and/or Kim and invite them to have a threesome with us. I was very hesitant about this. I was not sure Jo was really okay with this or just saying this because it was something she thought I wanted and was “sacrificing herself” for my sake. Martyr like behavior on the part of my ex was a significant component of our break up and I’m probably hyper sensitive to behavior that reminds me of this.

Further increasing my concern is that I had long had an interest in Brenda but for a while Jo was uncomfortable with her. She was married but almost never brought her husband. Brenda also very clearly had an interest in me and Jo thought there was a somewhat secretive component to our mutual interest which bothered her. And in the case of Kim, Jo had once told me, “She’s on the ‘no list’. She is tall, attractive, brunette, and single.” The physical attributes are all on my “what makes a woman hot to me” list. The ‘single’ attribute fanned some insecurity issues for Jo. We are both recently divorced and maintain separate homes even though we rarely sleep apart. For one of us to terminate the relationship and/or decide to pursue a relationship with someone else would take little more than saying good-bye and carrying a couple arm-loads of possessions to the car.

What changed in the last few months was that Jo spent quite a bit of time getting to know Brenda and Kim. Brenda and I still huge and kiss when greeting each other at the club but Jo and Brenda hug also. The flirting between Brenda and I doesn’t seem secretive anymore. And in the case of Kim, well, she has been married three times, doesn’t have the kids from any of the marriages, and is going through bankruptcy. She might not be such a good mate. And from Kim’s viewpoint she is extremely cautious about getting seriously involved with anyone. She doesn’t trust her own judgment in regards to selecting men.

It turned out Brenda had brought a new playmate to the club so it was unlikely they would be doing a full swap with anyone else that night. So Jo encouraged me to concentrate on Kim and she would concentrate on Ed. Ed is a very attractive married guy, attending as a single, who shows up maybe once a month or so and was there.

Things didn’t work out so well for me with Kim. She was quite friendly and talkative but she came to the club just for the food, drink, and to talk this time. She didn’t have any intention of playing with anyone.

Things went well for Jo. Ed said she really boosted his ego and they kissed some and agreed to play at some future time.

There was another couple ,  Kevin and Tammy, that showed a great deal of interest in us. Before dinner Kevin talked to Jo and me quite a bit. Then they moved to our table to have dinner with us. At the dinner table were Larry and Brenda, Kevin and Tammy, and Kim. When Tammy and I were busing some plates and glasses from the table she made a big show of rubbing up against me. Kevin told funny stories to Jo and I. Kevin is much shorter than Jo and that is a deal breaker for Jo. I like Tammy, she is very happy, fun to talk to, and to be around. I wouldn’t reject her if she propositioned me and it was a situation where it was okay with Jo but I probably wouldn’t proposition her under most circumstance. Her body type is different than what interests me the most. So Jo and I didn’t pursue that.

Larry, Brenda’s playmate, was interesting to talk to. He was very articulate and extremely nice looking. Jo said, “Why can’t he be married to Brenda instead of Keith?” In the past Jo had plotted that maybe we could swap with Brenda and her husband so I could get some time with Brenda. But Keith doesn’t come to the club often and Jo found him uninteresting to the point, if we were to swap, she would be “taking one for the team.” This is a very poor idea and everyone with experience in the lifestyle strongly advises against it.

Jo and I ended up going to the play area by ourselves and watching others, including Brenda and Larry, while we had sex. I got really excited watching Brenda on top of him with her hips smoothly rotating back and forth. “Woman on top” isn’t a big deal for me when I’m having sex but seeing her with someone other than her husband and the slow sensuous movement as I had sex with Jo it was a big deal.