As I mentioned in my previous post Jo gave me a “hall pass” to go to the club while she went to her son’s concert. I have had far better times at the club. If I was a good enough writer I think it could made into a comedy skit without exaggerating the details much. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me.

First, the traffic was terrible. What should have been a 35 minute drive took an hour.

I knew that both Brenda and Kim would be there and planned to hang out with them and see if one of them were interested in playing with me. Brenda was standing in front of the fireplace when I got there which is typical. It’s frequently a little cold and it’s warmer by the fireplace plus you get to see people as they check in at the front desk for the party. I stood next to her and chatted for a while. She, and nearly everyone else, asked where Jo was. I explained the situation and then at an appropriate time I said, “I was hoping tonight would be my lucky night with you.” She said that she had hurt her back while helping to set up for the party and she was thinking she would go home right after supper. That was disappointing. We have sometimes done some pretty heavy kissing and had made it clear to each other we were interested in taking it further. But not this night I guess.

I continued to talk to her. I like talking, actually it probably is more listening, with her. She pointed out Kim at the bar with two guys chatting her up. Brenda pointed out that both of them were way below her own standard of who she was interested in playing with. Kim could do a lot better too if she wanted but seemed to find a much larger set of men acceptable to her.

We watched Kim and the interaction between her and the two guys. It didn’t seem that she was that interested in either of them and before long she came over to us and gave me a big kiss. That was the first time she had given me that strong of a signal. I was feeling pretty good about my chances with Kim. The three of us chatted until it was time for dinner.

At dinner Kim’s friend Brandi was next to me and Kim sat beyond her. Brenda was across the table from me. On the other side of Kim was one of the guys Kim had been talking to at the bar. He had her arm around her and he gave her a lot of attention. She wasn’t discouraging him but she didn’t seem to be returning much of the attention. Brandi and I talked a lot. She is smart and fun to talk to but her body type isn’t a good match for me and besides she informed everyone at the table she was being monogamous for now. She and her boyfriend got into the lifestyle because he was cheating on her and she insisted that either they both get to play outside the relationship or neither of them play outside the relationship. That worked for a while until they were both in bed with other playmates together. Afterward he spend an hour or more crying in her arms. So they decided to be monogamous .

After dinner there was some entertainment and people left our table bus their dishes and refresh their drinks and some went off to play. Kim’s was at another table with Brandi. and Brandi invited me to join them again. I did and gave my attention to Kim. I had my hand on her leg and was talking to her when “the guy” showed up again and not having a chair next to Kim stood behind her and started massaging her neck and shoulders. Brandi again started up an animated conversation with me. After a few minutes her animation got a little too vigorous and she swatted Kim’s tall glass full of soda into my lap. It was totally an accident and she was really apologetic. She even said that if she weren’t “being good” tonight she would offer to dry me off in a “creative way”. I didn’t get any such offer from Kim who also got a little bit splashed on her bare leg.

I concluded it was game over for now and went off to the dressing room to change into my robe and sit in the hot tub. I spent an hour or so in the hot tub talking to Brenda who apparently decide the hot tub was better therapy for her back than going home. Tammy showed up and talked for quite a while too. While sitting there I saw Kim enter the play area with “the guy” so I knew it was going to be a while before she would potentially available again.

After we were sufficiently wrinkled we left the hot tub. I went over to the entrance to the play area and talked to Brent for a while. He came and went a few times looking for something interesting to do. I waited for an hour or more for Kim to exit the play area hoping she would be interested in some more play time with me. Gretchen did stop by and give me a kiss and a hug before returning to her massage customers but other than that I was pretty much alone. It finally got late enough that I wouldn’t be able to get enough sleep before going to work in the morning if I didn’t leave.

I went back home and cuddled up with Jo. She asked who I was with and I told her my sad story. She was sympathetic and we talked for a while. She thought I should go again by myself but I insisted I wouldn’t be interested if she were available. I would only do it if she were busy with her son or some other family business that was a high priority. I used to go to the club alone nearly all the time and as a single guy I knew my odds were only about 50-50 and it wasn’t a big surprise that I didn’t “get lucky” this time. What was a surprise was the comedy of obstacles that appeared.

Last weekend I was going to be out of town visiting relatives while Jo stayed in town to take her son to band practice and a concert. Friday morning I suggested she attend the Saturday night party at the club. She wasn’t so sure about it at first but, as we were having sex, I told her I found the prospect of her going to the club and having sex with other men very exciting, as long as she told me all about it when we got back together. “Really?”, she asked. “Yes!”, I told her and our lovemaking increased in intensity to emphasis the point. Shortly thereafter she made reservations for the party.

On Saturday evening she sent me a picture of the clothes she was thinking of wearing with the message:

This, or that black dress? I’ve started to wonder if my trash-o-meter stopped working. It’s the fringed skirt. Thought I’d take the black dress along.

Then later while at the club she send two more messages:

Will probably be with Nick (of  Ellen and Nick).

Heading home. Was with Nick and had a nice time. I love you. Xoxoxo

When I returned home Monday evening we ate dinner and then quickly prepared for bed. We cuddled up together and reveled in the cuddling and touching each other again after three nights apart. I then asked, “Are you going to tell me about the party?” Jo replied, “The whole party or just the playtime part?” I told her the playtime part first then we could discuss the rest of the party later.

She told me that after dinner Nick asked if she really wanted to watch the entertainment or just head off to the play area early. They opted for the early playtime. She then told me, in detail, how Nick undressed her in the locker room, the bed they used (in “The Perch”), the kissing, the oral sex, the putting on the condom, him entering her, and the various positions they used. As expected we got very excited and we had sex together.

She then told me more about the party. Who she talked to before dinner, what they talked about, the men who flirted with her, and who were at the dinner table with her and Nick. When she went to the locker room to get dressed and return home she found Sam and Joan there. Sam asked, “Where is Bob?” and Jo told her that she was there as a single that night. Sam gave her a high five and said, “Hall Pass!”

I then asked if we were going to the club again on Wednesday so I could see her have sex with someone else. She reminded me there was another concert for her son but I should go by myself. I questioned her quite a bit about this to make sure she really was okay with it. In the end she summarized with, “I didn’t feel any different about you when I went by myself so I don’t see why you should feel any different about me if you go by yourself.” So I’ll be going to the club by myself tomorrow.

As Jo experienced and explained to me going by yourself simplifies some things because you don’t have to worry about your partner finding someone and having a good time too. If Brenda is there (she RSVP’d for the party) without her husband or playmate then I can play with her without worrying that Jo doesn’t have someone to play with or that Brenda’s husband, Keith, is there and Jo isn’t really interested in playing with him. As we talked about the club and the interpersonal dynamics of going alone versus as a couple we became aroused again and again had sex.

Before we went to sleep I asked, “So you had a good time and would consider going alone again if I can’t go?” Her reply was the best I could imagine, “Yes, I had a great time. I don’t know if I could ever top that experience.”

Last night Jo and I went to the club with a little different plan than usual.

We knew from the RSVP list there weren’t many people attending. And there were zero couples who were attractive to both of us. Jo suggested we hang out with Brenda and/or Kim and invite them to have a threesome with us. I was very hesitant about this. I was not sure Jo was really okay with this or just saying this because it was something she thought I wanted and was “sacrificing herself” for my sake. Martyr like behavior on the part of my ex was a significant component of our break up and I’m probably hyper sensitive to behavior that reminds me of this.

Further increasing my concern is that I had long had an interest in Brenda but for a while Jo was uncomfortable with her. She was married but almost never brought her husband. Brenda also very clearly had an interest in me and Jo thought there was a somewhat secretive component to our mutual interest which bothered her. And in the case of Kim, Jo had once told me, “She’s on the ‘no list’. She is tall, attractive, brunette, and single.” The physical attributes are all on my “what makes a woman hot to me” list. The ‘single’ attribute fanned some insecurity issues for Jo. We are both recently divorced and maintain separate homes even though we rarely sleep apart. For one of us to terminate the relationship and/or decide to pursue a relationship with someone else would take little more than saying good-bye and carrying a couple arm-loads of possessions to the car.

What changed in the last few months was that Jo spent quite a bit of time getting to know Brenda and Kim. Brenda and I still huge and kiss when greeting each other at the club but Jo and Brenda hug also. The flirting between Brenda and I doesn’t seem secretive anymore. And in the case of Kim, well, she has been married three times, doesn’t have the kids from any of the marriages, and is going through bankruptcy. She might not be such a good mate. And from Kim’s viewpoint she is extremely cautious about getting seriously involved with anyone. She doesn’t trust her own judgment in regards to selecting men.

It turned out Brenda had brought a new playmate to the club so it was unlikely they would be doing a full swap with anyone else that night. So Jo encouraged me to concentrate on Kim and she would concentrate on Ed. Ed is a very attractive married guy, attending as a single, who shows up maybe once a month or so and was there.

Things didn’t work out so well for me with Kim. She was quite friendly and talkative but she came to the club just for the food, drink, and to talk this time. She didn’t have any intention of playing with anyone.

Things went well for Jo. Ed said she really boosted his ego and they kissed some and agreed to play at some future time.

There was another couple ,  Kevin and Tammy, that showed a great deal of interest in us. Before dinner Kevin talked to Jo and me quite a bit. Then they moved to our table to have dinner with us. At the dinner table were Larry and Brenda, Kevin and Tammy, and Kim. When Tammy and I were busing some plates and glasses from the table she made a big show of rubbing up against me. Kevin told funny stories to Jo and I. Kevin is much shorter than Jo and that is a deal breaker for Jo. I like Tammy, she is very happy, fun to talk to, and to be around. I wouldn’t reject her if she propositioned me and it was a situation where it was okay with Jo but I probably wouldn’t proposition her under most circumstance. Her body type is different than what interests me the most. So Jo and I didn’t pursue that.

Larry, Brenda’s playmate, was interesting to talk to. He was very articulate and extremely nice looking. Jo said, “Why can’t he be married to Brenda instead of Keith?” In the past Jo had plotted that maybe we could swap with Brenda and her husband so I could get some time with Brenda. But Keith doesn’t come to the club often and Jo found him uninteresting to the point, if we were to swap, she would be “taking one for the team.” This is a very poor idea and everyone with experience in the lifestyle strongly advises against it.

Jo and I ended up going to the play area by ourselves and watching others, including Brenda and Larry, while we had sex. I got really excited watching Brenda on top of him with her hips smoothly rotating back and forth. “Woman on top” isn’t a big deal for me when I’m having sex but seeing her with someone other than her husband and the slow sensuous movement as I had sex with Jo it was a big deal.

Last night Jo and I went to a house party. Jo had been wondering what they were like and how they differed from a sex club. I had been to many house parties and hosted a few in the late 70’s and early 80’s. They were three to maybe six couples that would get together for dinner and play at someone’s home.

We knew this one would be different that what I had experienced but didn’t have a clue as to the details of those differences. A female friend of ours at the club had reported she had gone to the same house for a party the previous month and told us what a wonderful time she had. She had sex with four or five different guys throughout the evening and was very pleased. But she didn’t really describe the party dynamics that well.

We arrived about 7:30 PM and got a tour through the house. The couple own two homes and decided to live in one and use the other for parties about once a month. We decided to stay and paid a $20/person donation.

One room is for dancing and had a pole for those wanting to do little something more enticing than normal dancing. Jo and I both played with the pole  little bit but didn’t take off any clothes.

Most of the time we spent in the kitchen talking to people, snacking on the food they supplied, and sipping the wine we brought. Apparently this was a smaller party than normal. About 25 people. A normal party is about 50 people.

Jo only saw maybe one guy she was interested in playing with. We talked the he and his wife for a while and still thought they were acceptable to us. But I was getting the feeling the other woman more more interested in finding women to play with than men. And in any case there never was that “gleam in the eye” that indicated they were really all that interested in us. We sort of drifted away and later we saw her kissing another woman and her husband far more interested than earlier when he was talking to us.

One woman pretty clearly seemed interested in me. She invited me to come out on that dance floor and early in the evening and Jo and I chatted with her for quite a while in the kitchen. She also asked if anyone as ready to play. It was a general query but there were indicators it was aimed at me and perhaps Jo as well. But Jo and I didn’t really want to be apart and wanted a guy for Jo to play with so we mostly ignored what I suspect were invites to play.

There was another woman with a low-cut dress and large breasts in the kitchen who Jo asked, “May I touch your breasts?” The other woman immediately consented and pushed up to both Jo and I as Jo massaged her breasts. “Why”, she asked, “Do you want to just touch my breast?” Jo didn’t really understand at the time but I think the question meant, “Don’t you want to do more than just touch my breasts?” Again we declined to pursue that advance. Partially because there wasn’t a guy in the equation for Jo to play with and also the woman seemed to be pretty drunk.

We left the party about 10:15. The drive home is a little over an hour and we had time to discuss the evening. Our strong impression is there isn’t much, if any, couples hooking up with other couples. It is more of the couples mostly parting ways and then hooking up with other individuals. We haven’t done that sort of stuff before am I’m a little hesitant to do that. Jo is new in the lifestyle and there are indications she might be a uncomfortable if I’m off with another woman without her. I don’t see a point in pushing her boundaries so even though she has occasionally suggested this sort of thing I have been putting some mild brakes on those sort of activities.

When we returned home we had sex with each other.

Jo and I volunteered at the club last night. It was a new job for us. We arrived early and helped set silverware on the dinner tables. Then, because it was the first party after Valentines Day, we handed out roses to all the women as they came in the door.

Another couple at the door handled people who had prepaid so they could bypass the desk in the lobby. We talked to the other couple quite a bit and enjoyed their company as well as finding them attractive. After our volunteer duties were complete we had dinner with them and continued the conversation. After dinner Jo and the other man, separately, left the table for a bit. We had kind of run out of stuff to talk about at the time so I asked the other woman if she liked to dance and we danced for a while. Jo and the other guy arrived back at the table, found us missing and then came out on the dance floor and joined us. After a few dances the other couple wandered off to get their Valentines Day picture taken.

Jo and I talked briefly about it and decided to ask them if they would like to play with us. I suggested that Jo ask quietly and discreetly ask the other woman. My hope was this would be non-threatening and increase the comfort level. Jo did this and the other woman quietly and politely said, “No, I don’t think so.”

Rejection.

Thinking about it later I realized they had probably dropped some hints about their non-interest. At one point the other guy asked me, since I had been in the lifestyle with my ex-wife for so many years, “Did you ever go through periods where you didn’t do anything with others for a while?” The answer was, of course, “Yes. There were times when we had a lot going on in our lives, there wasn’t much money, when we had our kids, etc.” The lifestyle isn’t a necessity like food, shelter, and transportation. It’s recreation and as such other things frequently displace it.

Jo and I did go on into the play area together and she ended up having sex with someone in a group area. And for a while there were three men simultaneously giving her attention. She was having intercourse with one while another guy and I, were each kissing one of her breasts.

Then Jo and I had sex in the same group room together. Then again when we got home. Then again the next morning.

Yesterday afternoon we reviewed the RSVP list to see who was going. There didn’t appear to be anyone that we were particularly interested in playing with. But things change. And there are newbies that don’t show up on the “who’s going” list too. So even though we didn’t have very high hopes we arrived about 7:00 PM and scouted out the people already there and watched as others arrived. We talked with friends and got to know some other people. There still weren’t any good matches for us.

There was an advantage to one of the themes of this party that turned out well for us once before. It was a “Key Party” but not in the original swinger sense of the phrase. There was a twist to it. You selected a color coded key when you went through the buffet line for dinner. You selected the color key that matched your interest.

One color was for “Full Swap”, a second for “Soft Swap”, and a third was for “Monogamous/Just Exploring”. Then you sit at a table that matches your color coded key. That helps a bunch. You can eliminate the other people that aren’t interested in the same things as you are. The one other time we did this we ended up with two couples that we probably wouldn’t have approached had we not been seated with them at the “Full Swap” table. We ended up playing with one of the couples and had a nice time.

This time we had a nice conversation with two other couples. But there wasn’t that good of a physical match. I had enough interest in one of the woman but Jo didn’t see anything that interesting for her anywhere.  Not at the table and not anyone at the party. And there were probably 75 or more people there. She suggested we just go home after dinner. I suggested we stay for a while. I hadn’t had a massage for a long time and since Gretchen, the licensed masseuse was working tonight I suggested I get a massage while Jo did some dancing.

I have had many long pleasant conversations with Gretchen and have had a sexual interest in her for years too so it would be a chance to catch up on things with her. There is no sex when you pay the for massage and everyone knew it was just going to be a massage and friendly conversation. She found lumpy muscles in my back I didn’t know I had until she massaged them and between the painful rubs with her elbows and deep presses of her palms I got caught up on things with her kids, husband, and boyfriend and shared things with her about my divorce, my kids, and how great things were with Jo.

Jo and I then went into the play area and found there was no one on bed monitor duty. It had been scheduled for someone but they weren’t there. There was about 15 minutes left in the shift so we did a quick tour of the play area to make sure everything was as it should be then settled into the bed at the entrance. We watched people come in and chatted a bit until our relief arrived.

We did another tour to see where we would settle to play with each other and decided the mirror room was best. There was another couple in there but we weren’t particularly interested in them so we went to the opposite end of the “bed”. The “bed” is actually two king size mattresses side by side on the floor. You can easily touch the people on the next mattress over and in practice the two beds are really just one big bed. So by going to the other end of the bed we were actually several feet away.

It was a little bit cold so we covered up with the blanket we brought and did some kissing and touching. After a while one of the youngster couples we had seen last Saturday came into the room and settled on the bed next to us and she began performing oral sex on him. Two other couples soon settled on the bed and began sex play as well. Now there were five couple on the one large bed with the mirrored ceiling over all of us. Jo and I lay on our backs and watched the orgy in the mirror. The three couple in the middle, almost without words, traded positions and partners. After a while I turned my attention to Jo and she became more and more aroused.

We began having intercourse in the missionary position and continued to watch the people on the bed near us. The jumble of people next to us was close enough that a woman’s arm was laying across the calf of one of my legs. And the man next to us asked permission to touch Jo. She told him, “Yes. But we aren’t swapping tonight.” He touched her leg as we continued having sex and once grabbed her breast.

After we had finished we continued to watch the mechanics next to us. One of the women next to us was close enough that Jo asked if she could touch. The answer was, “Yes! Of course!” and Jo stroked her breasts and back.

One couple after another disengaged and wandered off to other areas leaving Jo and I by ourselves in the room. We rested and talked for a while before deciding it was time to go home. We made a tour of the play area and found another large group of people in another group area including some of those that had left the mirror room earlier. But what was interesting it appeared that nearly everyone was with their original partners.

Almost all are the parties are good but every one is different.