I think they left out an excellent location to spice up your sex life:
Why didn’t they mention sex clubs?
Category Archives: Random
Party park
Hmm… this could lead to something interesting:
In 2008, sexual activity was decriminalized in the most famous and popular park in all of Amsterdam, Vondelpark (which receives 10 million visitors per year). However, to avoid problems with the police, it’s important to know that, under this law, sex is restricted to nighttime and, further, making excessive noise and/or leaving a mess behind (like used condoms) can get you in trouble.
There are house parties, party houses, hotel takeovers, campouts, and now it appears possible to have a party park.
Going mainstream?
This is a very friendly and accurate article on non-monogamy as we know it. A sample:
My husband and I met when we were very young, and after being together for a while we realised we wanted to try different things sexually. I had always been attracted to other men and wanted to experience sex with a woman.
Then when I was travelling I had an affair. As soon as I came home I told my husband and we decided to have an open relationship. He went on to find a lover. Then we had a threesome with the man I had slept with and from then on decided to have a completely open relationship (an arrangement that’s been in place now for 10 years). We both travel a lot for work, so we tend to meet lovers while we are away. We have also gone to swinger clubs together.
This is from The Guardian. Are we going mainstream?
All women lie
I found this fascinating:
I then asked, “How many of you would like to date a nice, sweet, kind man?” Hands started going up. I then said, “Let me put it another way. How many would like to date an arrogant, flashy guy?” The hands went down. In fact, not a single woman raised her hand. I pointed this out stating, “Not one of you raised your hand and that’s why you lie.” I then said, “But here’s the problem. You don’t even know you’re lying.” Researchers have found discrepancies in what a woman says she wants in a dating partner and the man she actually picks to date.
For example, researchers at Rice University wanted to know if a man flaunting a flashy red Porsche would get more dates than a man in a more economical car like the Honda Civic. They conducted a study asking a woman to pick whom she would most likely go out on a date with, the Porsche guy or the Civic guy. The researchers found that most women picked the Porsche guy. But there is a catch. A woman was most likely to select the Porsche guy for a date, but the Civic guy was more desirable to marry.
We probably have evidence of this in other areas as well. Kind, gentle, stable, “good provider” type men have difficulty attracting women. Many women find them boring. When I started dating again after breaking up with my wife one of the things I put in my online profile was that many people consider me the most interesting person they know and that life is never boring with me. This was despite being able to claim all the “strong, dependable, kind, good provider” type of qualities desired in a life partner.
I didn’t go looking for comparable data for men but I’ll bet there is a similar pattern there as well. Men are attracted to “flashy women”. A woman who flirts with them gets immediate attention even though she is probably flirting with other men as well. We see this at the sex parties we go to. The women dress very provocatively and flirt with a variety of men. This appears to be a very successful strategy at the parties. They are looking for playmates, not life partners, and this dress and behavior increases their selection pool.
This bit of insight is something I probably should put to use when we go to sex parties. I’m an introvert and shy. I should compensate in some fashion to attract women. Women certainly do it. I need to figure out how do dress and act such that I increase my selection pool as well.
This seems so silly to me
Why watch porn when you can experience it?
Lay back and relax. Look around the room and watch as your partners disrobe, revealing smoldering hot bodies. No pressure, just let them do all the work as you experience your first three-way. No need to be nervous, these women will ease you in and show you how it’s done. The blonde one, Anna, whispers naughty things in your right ear, while Sara, the brunette, looks up at you with her big blue eyes asking if you like what’s she’s doing. Some men might even think of this as a dream come true, and unless you turn a little too far in your chair, it feels surprisingly real.
Why watch porn when you can be a part of the real thing? Go to a sex club and experience the actual thing.
Benefits of sex
The many joyous health benefits of having more sex:
According to research in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, orgasms half the body’s sensitivity to pain, due to the flow of endorphins (read: natural painkillers) they create. What’s more, those endorphins take effect in a matter of minutes – which is far quicker than most over-the-counter drugs available on the high street.
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According to a study carried out in Pennsylvania and published in Psychology Report, people who have sex once or twice a week have, on average, 30pc more Immunoglobulin A (IgA), which is used to fight illness, than those who are not sexually active.
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According to a study that was published in Biological Psychology, men who have recently had sex respond better to stressful situations.
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Men who have sex at least twice a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, according to research published in 2010 by scientists at the New England Research Institute in Massachusetts.
The study, of over 1,000 men, showed that sex has such a protective effect on the male that its authors went as far as calling for doctors to screen men for sexual activity when assessing their risk of heart disease.
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In 2010, research published in the journal PLoS ONE suggested that rats who mate regularly had a higher rate of cell proliferation in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain linked to memory. The rats also experienced more brain cell growth and a rise in the number of connections between brain cells than those who did not.
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In 2013, Dr Weeks told the British Psychological Society that sex has a number of health benefits which can make men and women look between five and seven years younger. Partly, this is due to the health benefits summarised above (a healthy person tends to look younger than an unhealthy person), but he also pointed to the release of human growth hormone in the act of love making, which makes skin look more elastic.
Another piece of research, conducted by scientists at the Royal Edinburgh University, found that couples who merrily romp at least four times a week look a whole decade younger than less libidinous twosomes. The pleasure of penetration releases positive hormones such as adrenalin, dopamine and norepinephrine, which help preserve skin cells and relax muscles, therefore preventing wrinkles.
Jo and I are on the right track.
Party house pictures
Last night was the last party ever at Club Pyrite. I first visited here over 35 years ago. The first woman I ever had sex with other than my wife was here. And the first man she had sex with, other than me, was also here. I could not begin to tell you how many people I have seen have sex here. I cannot tell you how many times I have been to this club but probably on the order of 500 times.
I got permission to come in early before the party and take pictures of the play area. Click on the pictures for a larger version.
These are the indoor and outdoor hot tubs.
This is the entrance to the locker room, bathrooms, and showers. I didn’t take pictures in there as there were people there at the time.
This is the stairway to the upstairs play area. Some people have called it, “The stairway to heaven.”
This is the bed at the top of the stairs for the “Bed Monitors” to make sure people entering the play area obey the rules.
This is the interior of the room you see on the right in the previous picture.
This is to the right of the bed for the bed monitors.
This is a group area to the immediate right as you come up the stairs.
Looking down the hall between the bunk beds and the group area you see the “Frog Chair”.
A closer view of the Frog Chair.
Around the corner to the right from the Frog Chair we enter the Red Room.
Opposite the bed in the previous picture are these two sets of beds. Both the upper and lower area are composed of two king sized mattresses. The upper area is what Jo and I call The Perch.
This is what The Perch looks like.
This set of pictures is part of the view from The Perch as you scan from left to right. You can also see the first bed coming into the Red Room and if you try a little bit you can see the Frog Chair as well.
This is the rest of the Red Room as you continue on to the right from The Perch.
This is looking back into the Red Room from the opposite end of the room.
I forget this room is officially called, maybe “The Glow Room”. Jo and I just call it the Black Light room. It is illuminated with black light and paintings, posters (gone in the picture), towels, sheets, etc. created some interesting effects here. It is just round the corner from the Red Room as you can see in the last picture.
This is the Mirror Room. The ceiling is covered with mirrors. This is the room where Jo had her first lifestyle sex with someone other than me.
To the left of this bed you can see into the Mirror Room. Beyond the bed you can see the Bed Monitor bed. To the right you can see the railing for the stairway. We have come back to the beginning. This is “The Loop” I sometimes mention.
On the left you see the stairs going up to the upper play area. In the picture on the right you see a play and socialization area. To the extreme right is the entrance to another play area.
This set of pictures is primary downstairs play area. On the right you see the back of a couch and smaller play area.
On the far left of the upper picture you see part of the primary play area from the previous set of pictures. Then the couch and video screen (X-rated videos shown here during parties). In the last picture you see another frog chair which is to the far left of the video screen.
On the left, with the video viewing area in the background and the stairs on the left you see the public massage table at the base of the stairs. On the right is another view of the table.
Although Jo and I hadn’t played with any couples, despite trying many times, in over a year I’m going to miss the club. There are so many memories and the club changed my life. It was a such a huge part of my life.
Good to know
16 Positions For Double Penetration
I’ve only done one of positions (#1. DP Cowgirl). It was used two different times with different playmates each time.
Once was from the top with anal penetration and the other from the bottom with both men doing vaginal penetration. This was by far my preferred experience.
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
This TED talk may help explain why the lifestyle is so appealing to us:
The take away quote is:
Millions of years ago, we evolved three basic drives: a sex drive, romantic love, and attachment to a long-term partner. These circuits are deeply embedded in the human brain.
These are independent drives. They are complimentary and at times contradictory. I find it may just explain a lot of things.
I found this via Justin J. Lehmiller.
Creating lust
This is an interesting talk on love and lust. Probably the most interesting part to me was how to create lust in a long term relationship. It starts at 10:00 minutes into the video:
Newness, surprise, mystery, and arousal producing activities are the three keys to increasing lust. Arousal isn’t just sexual arousal. Scary movies, roller coasters, etc. also produce arousal.
Sex clubs, sex parties, and playing with other couples produce all three and enhance lust in your loving long term relationship.
H/T to Justin J Lehmiller.