My first sex club visit was decades ago. I attended with my wife and another newbie couple. Let’s call them Jan and Van. My wife and I had never had sex with anyone other than each other and we were very scared. Jan and Van seemed to be just as scared and I later found out Jan didn’t want to go there. She was just doing it to make her husband happy. (We now call that “taking one for the team”. Don’t do that.)

It was a disaster. My wife had sex with Van and I had sex with Jan. Van kept going and going and going. It went on for an hour or more. My wife kept asking him to stop and he didn’t. Jan didn’t want to be there. She didn’t like Van having sex with my wife. And she wasn’t really interesting in having sex with me.

The worst part was that we had carpooled to the party and now we were riding back home, an hour away, in a car with people we didn’t want to be with. Then the next day I went away on a business trip for a week. My wife and I really needed time to talk and recover and now we were apart.

Lessons learned.

The club scene didn’t work out for us very well at the time. So we found other playmates (swingers as they were called then) in contact/swinger magazines. We met some really nice people and had great fun. We also met some sketchy people and had bad experiences. More lessons learned.

Eventually my wife went crazy. It was independent of the sex parties but the symptoms showed up in that aspect of our lives as well.

The crazy keep getting worse and ultimately, after years of insisting we see a counselor and her refusing, I filed for separation and divorce. I haven’t seen or talked to her since then.

A few months later I met my girlfriend Jo on match.com. I was immediately very impressed with her. Her history of living with a crazy person for decades matched mine. She was really smart. Her social-economic status matched mine. Physically we were a good match for each other. She was a good mother to her kids. She was accepting of my other, somewhat outside the mainstream, hobbies. She seemed very interested in sex but her sex history didn’t match mine. I took her to her first sex club 10 days later. That was about a year and a half ago. It’s been working out really well.

These days we go to the local sex club once or twice a week. She says, “I’m not really horny all the time, but I’m always ready to be a willing participant.”

This blog is a diary of our visits to sex parties. I hope to share with you the lessons learned and the incredible pleasures experienced.