Monthly Archives: May 2017

Breaking new ground

Jo and I went to a “house party” last weekend. It wasn’t what we really think of as a house party. There were probably 30 or 40 couples at a large house rented for the weekend. It was a very nice facility and we enjoyed hanging out in the sun next to the river.

Due to various circumstances we drove separate cars and arrived at the same time. We hung out, visited with people, and ate dinner. Jo didn’t see anyone of interest. And the one woman that drank too much and vomited on the living room carpet was a real mood killer. Her date should have taken her home as soon as it was clear she had way too much to drink which was long before she vomited.

We chatted quite a while with Jack and Danielle who put on their own house parties which Jo and I really like. We all agreed the planners for this party didn’t do all that great of a job. It was too small to be a party where everyone could find a good match and there was no vetting of those who attended to make sure they were “all on the same level” as Jack put it. At their parties everyone is very “frisky” as Jo puts it. As soon as everyone is at the party and the doors are locked people pair off (or join a group) and start having sex. There is virtually no hesitation. Everyone has been in the lifestyle for many years, all are about the same age, all are in decent physical condition, and we all know what we are there for.  It’s a very advanced “level”. This party had a wide range of “levels” in all dimensions and it was tough get a good match.

But there were a couple women I was interested in who also showed an interest in me. After we had been there four or five hours Jo decided to go home and told me to stay and see if I could play on my own. Jo really did seem okay with it so I stayed and played with one of the woman.

Jo had some errands to run and we ended up getting home at almost the same time. She asked how things went and said this was breaking new ground for her. She felt entirely comfortable with it. Nice.

She did add that she probably would need to attend the party and see who I was playing with. Just going to a party by myself while she was at home probably wouldn’t work out well. I would much rather she go with me anyway and I doubt I would be interested in leaving her at home to go play on my own. But it’s good to know that she is comfortable with me playing with someone at a party even if she doesn’t see anyone of interest to her.

Party park

Hmm… this could lead to something interesting:

In 2008, sexual activity was decriminalized in the most famous and popular park in all of Amsterdam, Vondelpark (which receives 10 million visitors per year). However, to avoid problems with the police, it’s important to know that, under this law, sex is restricted to nighttime and, further, making excessive noise and/or leaving a mess behind (like used condoms) can get you in trouble.

There are house parties, party houses, hotel takeovers, campouts, and now it appears possible to have a party park.

Casual sex enhances psychological well-being

From Social Psychological and Personality Science:

Casual sex has become a normative experience among young people, raising concerns regarding its well-being consequences. Prior findings on main effects of casual sex on well-being are mixed, suggesting possible moderating factors. Using longitudinal and weekly diary methodologies, this study examined the moderating influence of sociosexuality, a stable personality orientation toward casual sex, on psychological well-being (self-esteem, life satisfaction, depression, and anxiety) following penetrative (oral, vaginal, or anal) casual sex among single undergraduates. As predicted, sociosexuality moderated the effect of casual sex on well-being on a weekly basis across 12 consecutive weeks, over one semester, and over one academic year. Sociosexually unrestricted students typically reported higher well-being after having casual sex compared to not having casual sex; there were no such differences among restricted individuals. Few gender differences were found. Findings are discussed in terms of authenticity in one’s sexual behaviors.

I suspect that if they did the study for older people they would find similar results. I know I find “casual sex” enhances my psychological well-being.