Don’t read Cosmo for the sex tips

There was a time when I would get suckered into reading a Cosmo article or two because of the enticing article title on the cover of the magazine. I stopped being suckered many years ago but that doesn’t mean other people don’t still get suckered. Apparently the enticement that suckered Jenny Block in was, “28 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions”.

What is nice is that in the age of the Internet you can easily ridicule them:

It was as if a straight frat boy took out his doodle pad and drew every scene from every porn he had ever witnessed with Barbie or Disney princesses playing the leading roles, with their impossibly tiny bodies and silky, gravity-defying hair.

The positions were all hetero-normative fantasies of lesbian sex at their worst and silly at their best.

But I didn’t realize how truly insane and downright impossible they were until I called on my queer friends to act them out. I mean there was no way. Arms and legs were missing. It was impossible to hold up one’s own body weight, let alone the body weight of the other person in half of them. We had to balance on our tip toes and contort our bodies in the most insane ways. And, most importantly, there was nothing arousing about any of it.

Jenny and her friend posed and took pictures of each of the positions. Read the whole thing.