Category Archives: Random

Party park

Hmm… this could lead to something interesting:

In 2008, sexual activity was decriminalized in the most famous and popular park in all of Amsterdam, Vondelpark (which receives 10 million visitors per year). However, to avoid problems with the police, it’s important to know that, under this law, sex is restricted to nighttime and, further, making excessive noise and/or leaving a mess behind (like used condoms) can get you in trouble.

There are house parties, party houses, hotel takeovers, campouts, and now it appears possible to have a party park.

Going mainstream?

This is a very friendly and accurate article on non-monogamy as we know it. A sample:

My husband and I met when we were very young, and after being together for a while we realised we wanted to try different things sexually. I had always been attracted to other men and wanted to experience sex with a woman.

Then when I was travelling I had an affair. As soon as I came home I told my husband and we decided to have an open relationship. He went on to find a lover. Then we had a threesome with the man I had slept with and from then on decided to have a completely open relationship (an arrangement that’s been in place now for 10 years). We both travel a lot for work, so we tend to meet lovers while we are away. We have also gone to swinger clubs together.

This is from The Guardian. Are we going mainstream?

All women lie

I found this fascinating:

I then asked, “How many of you would like to date a nice, sweet, kind man?” Hands started going up. I then said, “Let me put it another way. How many would like to date an arrogant, flashy guy?” The hands went down. In fact, not a single woman raised her hand. I pointed this out stating, “Not one of you raised your hand and that’s why you lie.”  I then said, “But here’s the problem. You don’t even know you’re lying.” Researchers have found discrepancies in what a woman says she wants in a dating partner and the man she actually picks to date.

For example, researchers at Rice University wanted to know if a man flaunting a flashy red Porsche would get more dates than a man in a more economical car like the Honda Civic. They conducted a study asking a woman to pick whom she would most likely go out on a date with, the Porsche guy or the Civic guy. The researchers found that most women picked the Porsche guy. But there is a catch. A woman was most likely to select the Porsche guy for a date, but the Civic guy was more desirable to marry.

We probably have evidence of this in other areas as well. Kind, gentle, stable, “good provider” type men have difficulty attracting women. Many women find them boring. When I started dating again after breaking up with my wife one of the things I put in my online profile was that many people consider me the most interesting person they know and that life is never boring with me. This was despite being able to claim all the “strong, dependable, kind, good provider” type of qualities desired in a life partner.

I didn’t go looking for comparable data for men but I’ll bet there is a similar pattern there as well. Men are attracted to “flashy women”. A woman who flirts with them gets immediate attention even though she is probably flirting with other men as well. We see this at the sex parties we go to. The women dress very provocatively and flirt with a variety of men. This appears to be a very successful strategy at the parties. They are looking for playmates, not life partners, and this dress and behavior increases their selection pool.

This bit of insight is something I probably should put to use when we go to sex parties. I’m an introvert and shy. I should compensate in some fashion to attract women. Women certainly do it. I need to figure out how do dress and act such that I increase my selection pool as well.

This seems so silly to me

Hologram porn:

Why watch porn when you can experience it?

Lay back and relax. Look around the room and watch as your partners disrobe, revealing smoldering hot bodies. No pressure, just let them do all the work as you experience your first three-way. No need to be nervous, these women will ease you in and show you how it’s done. The blonde one, Anna, whispers naughty things in your right ear, while Sara, the brunette, looks up at you with her big blue eyes asking if you like what’s she’s doing. Some men might even think of this as a dream come true, and unless you turn a little too far in your chair, it feels surprisingly real.

Why watch porn when you can be a part of the real thing? Go to a sex club and experience the actual thing.

Benefits of sex

The many joyous health benefits of having more sex:

According to research in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, orgasms half the body’s sensitivity to pain, due to the flow of endorphins (read: natural painkillers) they create. What’s more, those endorphins take effect in a matter of minutes – which is far quicker than most over-the-counter drugs available on the high street.

According to a study carried out in Pennsylvania and published in Psychology Report, people who have sex once or twice a week have, on average, 30pc more Immunoglobulin A (IgA), which is used to fight illness, than those who are not sexually active.

According to a study that was published in Biological Psychology, men who have recently had sex respond better to stressful situations.

Men who have sex at least twice a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, according to research published in 2010 by scientists at the New England Research Institute in Massachusetts.

The study, of over 1,000 men, showed that sex has such a protective effect on the male that its authors went as far as calling for doctors to screen men for sexual activity when assessing their risk of heart disease.

In 2010, research published in the journal PLoS ONE suggested that rats who mate regularly had a higher rate of cell proliferation in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain linked to memory. The rats also experienced more brain cell growth and a rise in the number of connections between brain cells than those who did not.

In 2013, Dr Weeks told the British Psychological Society that sex has a number of health benefits which can make men and women look between five and seven years younger. Partly, this is due to the health benefits summarised above (a healthy person tends to look younger than an unhealthy person), but he also pointed to the release of human growth hormone in the act of love making, which makes skin look more elastic.

Another piece of research, conducted by scientists at the Royal Edinburgh University, found that couples who merrily romp at least four times a week look a whole decade younger than less libidinous twosomes. The pleasure of penetration releases positive hormones such as adrenalin, dopamine and norepinephrine, which help preserve skin cells and relax muscles, therefore preventing wrinkles.

Jo and I are on the right track.

Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat

This TED talk may help explain why the lifestyle is so appealing to us:

The take away quote is:

Millions of years ago, we evolved three basic drives: a sex drive, romantic love, and attachment to a long-term partner. These circuits are deeply embedded in the human brain.

These are independent drives. They are complimentary and at times contradictory. I find it may just explain a lot of things.

I found this via Justin J. Lehmiller.