Last night we visited Calvin & Jerri. We picked up a large pizza on the way to their house. They supplied a salad, vegetables, and something to drink. We sat on the couch together, ate our food, and watched a football game as we cuddled with someone else’s spouse. At half-time we put away the food and cleaned up. After the game was over we went into the bedroom and had sex with them. When we got home we had sex with each other.
It was all just so… comfortable. No stress about making a nice dinner and entertaining to make an impression. There was no tension between them. No tension between us. No tension about the possibility of being left out. No tension about being stuck with someone you really didn’t want to be with. No tension about “Are they just stringing us along as a backup plan if they can’t find someone else?” No tension about is someone going to try and have sex without a condom. No tension about someone doing something that their partner didn’t want to do.
We’ve known them for nearly four years. It makes a difference.
It was just really, really nice. As we drove away we talked about it. “That’s the way it should be all the time”, we concluded.
Jo and I have a busy life. Work, kids, hobbies, vanilla friends, vanilla vacations, and finally the lifestyle. When we make plans to meet with another couple (or occasionally a single woman) we consider it a rare treat. It’s very disappointing when someone has to cancel at the last minute but we have done it when one of us became sick, or a family emergency happened. Fine, we get that. What goes beyond disappointment into irritation is when people just “go dark”.
Twice in the past week we had people agree to meet and as the final plans were being agreed upon (location with a new couple and time with a single woman) they just stopped answering messages. How can they think this is appropriate behavior?
We cannot accept this as appropriate. We write them off as flakes.
Recently Jo and I have been consistently disappointed when we went to club parties and most meet and greets. The people didn’t match our physical criteria and weren’t a good the personality/social-economic match for us either.
But about a month ago we met a couple at a meet and greet which lives about a mile from us, both are tall and in good shape, and it seemed to be a good match. We exchanged contact information and with the expectation they would get in touch with us for a “vanilla” party at their home the following day with some of their family and friends. That didn’t happen and we gave them a pass on it. It was a little early in the relationship to know if we could be trusted to keep our hands off of people and not bring up lifestyle things in front of people they didn’t want knowing.
But nothing further came from them and so we reached out to them last week to see if they would like to have dinner with us at a local restaurant. They agreed and we had dinner with them last night. It went really well. We talked and talked about a number of things both about the lifestyle and non-lifestyle. We got along great and they invited us to another vanilla event at their home and verified we are all going to the same exclusive sex club party a couple weeks from now.
I’m really looking forward to it.
Jo was seriously considering giving up on meeting people via swinglifestyle.com. We have had a long string of disappoints topped off with one couple that became “the head of the rude list” and other couple that made the “head of the weird list”.
After seeing their “hot date” notice on SLS on Wednesday morning Jo sent them a message. They responded positively, there were a couple more message via SLS, then a couple more via normal email before exchanging cell phone numbers.
They were coming in from out of town for a few days for a local, non-lifestyle, event and were interested in meeting us to see if there was a connection.
Last night, we exchanged a few text message to arrange a meet at a local restaurant for dinner. They arrived on time, we ate dinner together, had a great time talking over dinner, and they followed us home for some play time.
It all went well. They were very pleasant in all respects and they invited us to visit them in their town sometime.
SLS can work out. It’s the people, not the venue.