It was hell

Last Sunday we had dinner with a couple who had contacted us via a couple months ago. They live out of state and were going to be visiting family for a few days and wanted to met some swingers while they were here.

We talked on the phone with them and exchanged several email and text messages. They seemed like a pretty good match for us.

Dinner went well with a couple hours of very pleasant conversation and they invited us back to their hotel “for a drink”. Jo and I agreed and we walked from the restaurant back to their hotel with them. Stan and Jo held hands and talked and Sandy and I did the same.  They poured glasses of wine but we quickly ended up in bed together. Stan and Jo had their clothes off and were in bed so quickly that I joked that it was a race and that Sandy and I were losing.

Sandy and I proceeded somewhat slowly and we enjoyed our time together. I was watching Jo and Stan and although I didn’t pick up any overt signals I was concerned things were going as well for her. Stan was a bit on the large side and Jo, while very tall, has a petite build. Stan wasn’t at all gentle and Jo seemed to be taking a bit of a pounding. Far more than I had ever done with her. But then I have a reputation for being very gentle. Some women like it rougher than what I care for. Maybe Jo was okay. But I wasn’t sure.

Long after Sandy and I were done and just laying there touching and talking Stan was pounding away at Jo. Finally Jo said she needed a break.

We all talked for while and when Stan wanted to start again Jo said we needed to go home because we had to work the next morning. I quickly agreed even though it wasn’t all that late.

As we walked back to the car Jo told me it was hell for her. She was done. Right now she didn’t want to have sex ever again. Not with anyone. All sex with men was repulsive to her and she didn’t want to touch me either. She wasn’t mad at me. She didn’t blame me. But it was a really bad experience for her.

She had recovered enough that we were able to cuddle up and sleep shortly after we got home. We had sex again Tuesday morning. After a couple more days she was in a much better mood and could talk about it but still not really recovered. She realizes probably isn’t entirely true but her attitude is that the reason some women are into the lifestyle is so they can have sex with better lovers than what they have at home. “Sex with you is a like an art form”, she told me. I took exception to that. I don’t think I do anything particularly special. I’ve long had a reputation as being very gentle but I don’t do a bunch of different or particularly interesting positions. The missionary position is about all that I do after a some manual and oral foreplay.

We have talked about “what went wrong” and “what we could have done differently”. There weren’t any early signs. It wasn’t until they were actually in bed “banging away” that she knew it was a mistake to be with him. I suppose she could have disengaged much sooner but there is a lot of reluctance to do that. You don’t want to spoil things for everyone else. But “taking one for the team” spoils things too. If/when we are with another couple again I think we need to make very sure it’s okay with each other to abort a situation at any time for any reason. It’s not worth the cost of having such a bad experience.